29th December 2011

Hiya
Following his operation Steven has suffered varying degrees of pain. Initially the pain increased as the days went on. Xmas Day was the worst day for pain. But Boxing Day and today the pain has lessened slightly, so as I said before, the early signs are good. Steven says that the pain is completely different to before the operation. Before, the pain was permanent as bone rubbed against rough bone. This pain and the action of the joint, forced his left leg to swing outwards to the left. By using a walking frame he now walks in a straight line. This has allowed him to put his foot on the floor in a flat position instead of the out-step hitting the floor, thus removing some of the pain in his left ankle. The pain in his hip is now believed to be operation pain only, from the bruising, and the actions of the surgeon. He found an example of the operation on YouTube, and rather than be upset by the scenes, he found it reassuring. He now understands why he’s in pain, and has seen, that, following the stitching process, his hip is secure. Since leaving the hospital on Friday he has walked regularly using the walking frame, and has for short distances walked without the frame, thereby increasing his strength. We have successfully cleaned the wound at home, although my sadistic nature wishes I had the nerve to rip off the bandage with one hard pull;-). We have bought various pills to aid his recovery, one box alone costing 172euro!!, we hope to recover some of this from the National Health system. On Wednesday 28th, Steven visited the physiotherapy department to enquire as to when he could continue treatment. Here his confidence was shattered when his physiotherapist said that he could see no improvement whatever with Steven’s walking. It’s this sort of thing which upsets us all, so many people have so many opinions we don’t know who to listen to, so we follow our own instincts. I hope you remember some of the things he’s gone through:- his foot must come off, then another doctor says it’s okay; the elbow pain is caused by calcification, then another doctor says it’s a loose piece of bone; a half pelvis replacement is needed, then another doctor says just the ball and socket; and now this where a physiotherapist cannot see any change in his condition. This same physiotherapist is a believer in natural remedies, and considers operations pointless, this is the sort of thing we’ve had to put up with, so many opinions. Nearly everything that’s happened to Steven to get him right we’ve had to fight for, because we’ve learned that doctors and hospitals work to a criteria, rather than consider the differences in people. We’ve had to convince all manner of doctors that Steven is a good healer and he and we are responsive to their directions, and that he should be treated as an individual, not as a lab’ rat.
Best regards, and wishing you all a Happy New Year, Terry

20th December 2011

I haven’t written anything recently mainly due to internet problems, but also because there has been little change in Steven’s circumstances. Moving from Valencia to home has meant a different regime in treatment, as we await the date for his hip operation. In the meantime it’s physiotherapy on his whole body, speech therapy, and visits to hospitals for x-rays etc. I thought it would be prudent to update Steven’s problems, because there are people who think he is fine and is just waiting for the hip operation. In no particular order:- He still has a problem with his left elbow not being able to bend it or straighten it fully. He is in constant pain with this due to the calcification of the joint. He wonders whether taking Calgon would help;-) His left foot is causing problems in that he cannot lift his foot or toes making walking and standing difficult and painful. He has constant muscle/joint pains in left shoulder, left ribs, left knee and left ankle, most of this is caused by the muscles being forced upwards, and are now out of place. His jaw is giving him particular problems in that he cannot eat or talk properly. He cannot open his mouth fully properly, and his jaw clicks loudly when he’s eating. The internal damage particularly to his diaghram prevents him breathing properly, hence the difficult speech, being unable to control his breathing and speaking at the same time. The brain injury has healed sufficiently for him to perform almost everything as normal, just slower because his brain has had to re-routed, and so everything is done at a slower pace. He still has to consciously tell his body to move in the correct manner. Imagine having to tell toes, ankle, feet, knees, hips, and arms to move in a particular order in order to walk, that’s what he has to do. To repeat what he said about himself, he knows his head is Steven but he doesn’t know the rest of his body, it feels wooden and strange. On top of all this he is becoming depressed. He knows he’s done well to get this far and he could have been in a much worse state, but that doesn’t stop him thinking/dreaming about the accident (he can still vividly recall the collision), wondering as to his future life, lack of sleep, and the constant feeling of pain and discomfort, causing him to lose concentration. He (and we) feels very bitter that this has happened to him, asking the unanswerable question, why him? Especially knowing the circumstances of the accident. He has retained his languages, his humour, and his computer skills, but he and his friends recognise that he is a different Steven. In many ways he is better at language and thinking, at times being more aware and logical than we are. He has stopped taking all medicines choosing to feel the pain rather than increase the medicine. Wednesday 7th December, for the first time he spoke to the driver of his taxi, who initially couldn’t believe that he had survived. The taxi driver reminded Steven that Steven was in a very good mood that morning, laughing and joking as he got into the car. This upset Steven, but we think it’s important that Steven speaks to the different people involved, to get the full picture of what happened. Steven’s biggest problem is that when he’s out amongst the general public, because he looks okay in almost every way except his walking, people are unaware of his real problems, and therefore don’t understand when he crosses a road slowly for example, or is unable to move easily when coming to an obstruction or crowd.
We took him into hospital on Sunday evening 18th December. The first thing they did was shave his left knee??? After a protest by Steven the nurses realised that it wasn’t the knee to be operated on!! The following morning Steven was in theatre for about 4hrs for his hip replacement. Both the ball and socket of the left hip joint was replaced. Steven recovered quickly and was most annoyed to hear that the surgeon had thrown away his replaced parts. Steven had arranged for them to be kept to be sealed in resin for display!!!. It’s difficult to know what change of pain he has due to the after effects of the anaesthetic, but early signs are good. Today Tuesday, Steven is in a lot of pain, but it’s a different pain and is obviously due to the operation and bruising, and not the pain from the damaged hip he is so used to. He has received 5 litres of blood. The loss of blood has affected his blood pressure, and until his blood pressure has increased to where it should be, painkillers and sleeping pills and not a lot of good. This also makes him feel weak, so no walking just yet. This also makes him feel the cold, fortunately the room is very warm. He is not eating but recognises that he must eat when he’s in a mood to do so.
Best regards Terry

24th November 2011

Hiya, a busy week this week for all of us. Tidying the house of all the gear collected over the last 12 months at different houses was a mission. Steven started his physiotherapy at a local hospital. These sessions are one to one, and are of great benefit to Steven. Because the hip operation has been arranged, the physio' was centred on Steven's left leg. The break in his leg was extensive, both bones in the lower leg were shattered creating a very large scar at the back of his leg. It has healed well, but the skin has grown into the muscle, and needs to be removed, and this can only be done by painful massage and manipulation. Similarly, they're working on his left elbow by forcing the elbow beyond it's limits, straight and bent, again causing pain, will it ever end? Wednesday was a busy day, and of course that day there was a torrential rainstorm, creating floods everywhere. We had an early morning start at the private hospital, where Steven had blood tests, then an ECG, then x-rays, all different parts of the hospital of course!!. From there we had to go to the NHS hospital for a session with the speech therapist. From there we returned to the private hospital to see the anaesthatist. Then from there, to another NHS hospital for his physiotherapy. This all meant an awful lot of walking, and getting wet, what a day. Discussion with Steven revealed an interesting fact which I've touched on before. In the past he's said that he knows he's Steven in his head, but his body doesn't feel his. The latest from him, is that he doesn't know how to relax, because he feels wooden. He's having to re-learn every facet of living, including just leaning against a wall which he finds very unnatural and awkward. He doesn't know how to stand "at ease", he's forgotten how to laugh, and has to pretend to laugh in an exaggerated manner. We have no real idea what's going on in his mind. Having said all that, he does seem more positive that we are coming to the end of another chapter in his life. All the information he and we have discovered, is that after the hip operation, he will be almost back to normal. His physiotherapist has a girlfriend at the intensive care unit where Steven was first taken, and when he told her who he was dealing with, she couldn't believe it because all the signs then were that Steven would not survive. We are making plans to visit this unit to show how wrong they were, but also to show that their prompt action did save his life. There could be tears.
best regards
Terry

18th November 2011

Hiya
Another good weekend at home. Steven had time on his own at his own house, he enjoys that, while we go out and do our own thing, such as car-boots!!. On Sunday my birthday we drove up to see Paul. There, Steven got me to stand still in front of him, and told me to shut my eyes. I did, then he said open my eyes, as I did I saw that his eyes were shut, and then he opened them, this was to re-create what he did on my birthday last year. Very emotional that was. Opened cards at Paul's, and read them. When we get home this weekend I'm going to open last years cards and read them. We returned to the hospital intending to be there until Friday, only to receive information that we had to see a National Health doctor on Thursday morning, and then a private doctor on Friday morning. So we had a busy week emptying the house of all our property gathered in the 11 months we've been there. Luckily we'd been taking things home for the last 2 weeks, but there was still going to be a car full. So just 3 days of physio'. It was during this 3 days that Steven began to feel quite ill. We don't know if this the reaction to the reduction in his medication, or just unsettled stomach due to everything going on, last days at the hospital, returning home permanently, seeing other doctors, probably a mixture of everything.
Wednesday came, and we said our goodbyes to our friendly neighbour, then it was Steven's turn to say his goodbyes to all the staff. Lots of photo's taken and tears shed. They all want Steven to return when he's fully recovered. They all said it was a miracle that he was walking out after arriving in such a poorly condition. Then it was off to Paul's with an excessively overloaded car. We offloaded a lot of things there for later collection and brought Paul home with us. You just wouldn't believe the amount of gear we now have at home, what a mess. We have a lot of Steven's clothes as well as our own, but all manner of things have been tripled due to the different "homes", where we're going to put it I have no idea.
Thursday morning we visited the local hospital to see the traumatologist. This doctor never even looked at Steven's extensive file of reports, analysis results, x-rays, and scans, and didn't even examine him. All he did was make appointments for more tests, beginning on 9th December, which would considerably delay any operations. I asked if there was any objection to us going to see private doctors, and he said he couldn't give an opinion because he didn't know what was the matter with Steven??
Friday morning we visited the local private hospital, what a difference!!. Full examination of Steven, physical and oral, all manner of tests organized for next Wednesday morning, and the hip operation arranged for 19th December. This doctor said that a half pelvis replacement was not necessary. He said that Steven's pelvis in the region at the top of the thigh bone had been crushed, and would require a new socket fitted. Steven should be walking the same day. So it's all looking good for Christmas. We all felt really positive after the meeting, especially when the doctor said that he would probably operate on Steven's elbow later, and possibly fit him for an orthopaedic shoe for his left foot. Completely different to what we'd been told.
best regards
Terry

11th November 2011

8th November
Hiya,
I know it's going to sound horrible, but Steven is getting really depressed with this hospital. Mainly because the hospital is a specialist brain damage unit. Although Steven has some interaction issues he's not half as bad as most of the people here. So, we're going to go home early i.e. Thursday afternoon instead of Friday. We think because he had such a good time in his own home, he wants more time there, quite understandable, he wants his old life back. He is already getting doubts about the success or failure of his hip operation, will the pain be gone? will he be able to walk better? He's got so many reasons to feel the way he does. We can only try to reassure him, but it's difficult. As we keep telling him, only time will tell.

11th November
well, life is still confusing!! We know we are to leave the hospital on 18th November, but now we have an appointment at the local hospital on 17th November! So unless we hear anything different from the hospital near Valencia we'll come home at last, late 16th November. We've had another meeting with Steven's doctors and we now know more about his hip operation. It seems as though he has to return to the Alzira hospital at a date to notified, and I'll stay with him in his room for 3 to 5 days, whilst Pauline stays at home. Whereas Steven handled his last lot of inconveniences in the early days at the hospital, he's not looking forward to this session of after care because he knows what's going to happen. He is getting more and more depressed, for all manner of justifiable reasons, and there's only so much motivation we can give before it gets a bit boring. The phrase he hates is "poco y poco" (little by little), and it's perfectly true. But after 12months of "poco y poco" on a daily basis it gets a bit wearing. On his own admission he's borderline to giving up, even at this late stage in his recovery. As I have said fully understandable, he's had to put up with so much, but as we keep telling him, he's still here, and there's lots of people worse off than him. He understands this, but it doesn't stop the numerous thoughts going through his mind. He still "hears" the accident in his dreams, he still feels bitter at being a victim of being sensible, he worries about his future, he remembers how he was, and he's still in pain. For us, we are beginning to forget the Steven we knew, and the Steven we have now is beginning to seem normal and almost acceptable, which it obviously isn't, it's all so sad. The doctors are suggesting that we also get some counselling now!! We're beginning to think perhaps they're right.
best regards
Terry

8th November 2011

041111
Hiya,
at last Steven has seen his solicitor involved in his case. The solicitor and his clerk were really pleased to meet him for the first time, and put a body to the papers. Steven's file is now about 4" thick, far bigger than any other of the files on show. At hospital and home, we all talk about many things to do with Steven's claims, and from that I send the solicitor messages requesting answers. Steven was able to confirm everything that we had done, not that he'd doubted us, but now he knows what we've done, and what's being done on his behalf. There's a long way to go, and may take years to finalize, but there again, the insurance have to gamble whether Steven gets better or worse, and act accordingly. The solicitor is on a percentage of whatever is offered, so it's in his interest to get as much as he can for Steven, for doing the same work. Steven is going to be examined by a "friendly" doctor to counter any claim by the insurance, who obviously are working to reduce any claim. Whether this finally goes to court will depend on what's offered and what the solicitor says, it's all to do with bargaining, bluff and double bluff.
We've been given a figure for the cost of a private operation to replace Steven's hip, but we're asking more questions about that because we don't want a surprise bill that was forgotten. When I had my gallstone op' at the same hospital I had about 4 bills, surgeon, operating theatre, medicines, and hospital room, that was a surprise, but that was sorted by my insurance, but Steven's op' will be out of our pockets. Then there's the after care, private or public?? Once we get all the information we'll act on it. At the moment it looks hopeful, that he'll have the operation soon. There' a lot to organize, especially as the rent for the house will be finished on 18th November. But I can see myself staying with Steven for the op' and after care, while Pauline stops at home, should only be for a few days, this is the sort of information we need.
Steven had a successful night on his own at his own house Wednesday night, and is doing the same tonight. It's a massive worry but he's determined to have his independance. He takes his games, tinterweb, tele', and food/drink etc, and the first time he has a problem we'll re-evaluate that arrangement.

081111
Hiya,
Steven had another successful night at his own house Sunday evening with a kebab!!! He's thoroughly enjoyed being "normal" even though he knows he isn't really, but just being in a place he loves has been a huge success. Getting his own food and drinks, watching and listening to what he wants, and sleeping in his own bed. No problems at all. Monday afternoon he saw his speech therapist at the local hospital. Not a lot happened, just a get-to-know-you session, to see where Steven's problems lay. He's been given exercises to do, some old, others new, and a new appointment made for a couple of weeks time. We now await appointments for physiotherapy. We returned to the Alzira hospital Monday evening popping in to Paul's on the way. Tuesday morning at his physio' he saw his doctors and related to them what he has experienced the last week or so, especially that he may have to wait one or two years for an operation on his elbow. He was told to get a third opinion!! This is what frustrates Steven and us. They're the doctors they should know, how many opinions do you ask for?? We have to trust that these people know what they're doing. The doctors have done so well, why spoil it now with these views. None of this helps Steven in his bid for recovery, especially when he's in permanent pain, which causes it's own frustration and inevitably anger. There seems to be some confusion as to what Steven can actually do when it comes to walking. Steven basically shuffles along in great pain. He is very slow, but will not use a wheelchair, because the pain is there in wheelchair or not. He can climb stairs, sometimes one step at a time, sometimes both feet on one step, then proceed to the next step, just depends how "fit" he feels. He has occasionally stumbled but has corrected himself. He actually calls himself a bloody big baby. When walking around town or in public, because he's wearing normal clothes, people have no idea that Steven has such problems, so Steven and us have to watch other people's moves as well as Steven's. Steven is considering buying notice boards that he can wear around his shoulders to inform people to stay clear;-) Tuesday we had even more confusion when it came to finding out the cost of his hip operation. The admin' at the hospital said that the doctors knew the cost, but then the doctors said they didn't know, ask the admin'. More frustration for Steven and us. After a brief meeting between admin' and doctors the cost was established, with no apologies for the confusion, and we now await a suitable date for surgeon and operating theatre etc. We are hoping it will be soon.
Best regards Terry

2nd November 2011

Hiya,
at Torrevieja hospital this morning. Had a really intensive examination by hospital admission's head. Over one hour, including a lot of computer work. The doctor saw Steven on day one of his accident so was surprised with his improvement. The only real downside to the meeting was that nothing will be done to Steven's elbow. It was explained that the calcification was of a type and situation that will continue to grow and get worse for up to 2 years. If there was an operation now, there would have to be more operations as the calcification would continue to grow after the operation. Difficult to understand, just wish we'd been told this before, Steven could have prepared himself for a longer haul. On the plus side, Steven starts speech therapy at Torrevieja on Monday, which is awkward due to physio' at Valencia, but we'll sort that out. This speech therapy will also be in English which is a more difficult language to speak. For information, in the Spanish language you say almost every letter in every word, and even link words together. English is much more complicated, with many letters having different sounds, and is less fluid than Spanish. For a laugh, find a foreign/English dictionary and read how to speak English!!! We await appointments for the bone consultant, re' Steven's hip, and I'll keep you updated on that. Already at least 20 sessions of physiotherapy have been organised, we just need to be told the time and place, but it will be local and far more convenient. We felt it was a positive meeting. Last year Steven opened his eyes for me on my birthday 13th November, coming home on 18th November will do as this year's belated birthday present.
Best regards Terry

1st November 2011

Hiya,
Well, it’s one year on, what can I say that hasn’t been said already? You all know what Steven has had to contend with, and how much he has recovered. He has an incredible amount of drive and determination to get better. If he could only have his operations, that would hopefully remove the pain, and remove the frustration and anger. There are still many issues to resolve, but the alternative doesn’t bear thinking about. In the last year Steven has learnt a lot about himself, as have we. It’s only natural that he and we are still extremely bitter about the whole situation, and no amount of words will change that, perhaps time will change how we feel. We all understand that life is neither fair nor perfect, but it seems to be okay for the bad guys out there. We know who our true friends are, and we have found many new friends who were strangers. We can’t thank or list everyone personally, but amongst the many messages, Steven has also had parcels and cards from such diverse places as Afghanistan, Chelsea FC, Poland, Belgium, and Holland. We couldn’t have coped with the last year without the support of friends and family, for which we’re grateful. Dependant on Steven's full recovery we have plans for the future, from which, hopefully, other people will benefit. We remain extremely grateful to the emergency services, and the staff at the 3 hospitals visited by Steven. The next battle starts tomorrow, Wednesday, when we have meetings with doctors to organize the next round of recovery locally to home. At least being back home permanently from 18th November will give us all some stability. The reason for this move, is, that Steven was sent into the private sector by the Spanish equivalent of NHS, where he has made his recovery. Now that Steven has improved sufficiently to attend hospital as an out-patient, the private treatment has been finished and he rejoins the “NHS”.
Love Terry

24th October 2011

Hiya,
There may be some changes over the next few days with Steven. We have appointments with solicitor, social security, and hospital doctor. We could be at home for nearly 2 weeks from this Thursday to get all this sorted. The doctor is in Torrevieja hospital, and the hope is that he will arrange for Steven to have his physio' locally allowing us to return home permanently. This meeting is on 2nd November, what happens after that date is anyone's guess, but we could be home the next day, the next week, or next month. I'll keep you updated. All I know is, I get the feeling we're going to be busy!! We have been told that this move will not affect the timing of his operation if and when that is. Steven is already considering living on his own at his own house for a few days. He is coping very well at the rented house, even cooking meals for us, getting his own drinks, washing, shaving, dressing, and doing his own medicines. He can cope, although we have concerns about the possibilty of him stumbling or falling, but sooner or later we have to get used to this, it's going to be difficult, but he is full of confidence. There are doubts as to Steven's eligiblity to any sort of pension, due to our pensions being too big. I can understand this, yet again it's people like us, who have scrimped and saved, and who get penalised by a system which allows lazy people spending their money on booze and being able to claim everything, the same as happened to an Aunty of mine having to sell her house to pay for her care, disgusting. What he and we need desperately is some good news, a date for his operation would suffice.
Best regards Terry

17th October 2011

Hiya,

Steven says he is enjoying the freedom of living at the rented house. He has total privacy in his own room where he can play his music to his heart's content. He noticed the difference immediately, no-one walking into his room un-announced, no doors slamming, no people shouting, no routine. He goes to town with us to choose his food, and Pauline provides hot food. His physio' is now only one 3 hour block every morning, and not split into 4 separate blocks throughout the day, much more manageable. This gives Pauline and I time to ourselves, and we all then have time to do our thing every afternoon and evening. Being an out-patient allows Steven to go out into the wider world, including bingo at Alzira where he shouted for a "full house" and won 112 euro. He has also been given permission to be unsupervised when walking to and from the physio' dept', and within it's confines. We'll be there though, it's just nice to know the staff have confidence in Steven's progress. Steven is doing so well, and at the risk of repeating myself, is that the only thing holding him back now is the operation on his hip, of which we still haven't had any news.
Best regards Terry

13th October 2011

Hiya,
Monday evening we attended the local clinic so that Steven could see his doctor. However, as we approached the front door of the clinic, we were met by a woman who said “Steven?” We both said yes (in Spanish). From now on the conversation was in Spanish. The woman said “Steven, accident?” Again we said yes. She then went on to say that she was the main witness to Steven’s accident. Steven swore quite loudly, and immediately apologized. The woman became very emotional and was hugging Steven as she cried. Steven didn’t know her, and has never met her. She had recognised Steven purely from reading this blog, and seeing the photo’s on Facebook. Even though she had read this blog, she couldn’t believe she was actually seeing him. This was an important meeting for Steven because there are huge sections of the last year which he knows nothing about. She said that she saw the offending car travel at speed through a red traffic light, and was able to think at the time, that she hoped nothing was coming from the other junction. She saw the horrific collision and saw the cars spin round. She saw a man get out of the offending car, and she thought, that’s good at least one person is okay, but this person just walked up to Steven’s taxi, he looked in, brushed himself down or checked himself, then ran away, much to her disgust. She saw the Police and ambulance arrive and saw Steven being dragged out of the taxi, and saw the emergency services reviving and caring for Steven. The accident was upsetting for her as she had lost her father in a road traffic accident. She was totally overwhelmed at seeing Steven, and I had to comfort her a few times. We knew some of the facts of the accident, but not people’s thoughts and feelings, which can be just as important. Steven will keep in touch with this lady as an aid to his recovery. A remarkable meeting.
We continued to see Steven’s doctor, however when we reached the surgery, the doctor wasn’t Steven’s doctor, and he knew nothing about Steven. I later found out that for an unknown reason Steven’s doctor had too many patients, and Steven has been given this new doctor, who also didn’t know what was going on!!. The doctor was able to give Steven a prescription for his medicines, but Steven didn’t discuss his case any further because at the time he was hoping to see his own doctor at a future meeting. This will not now be the case, Steven will have to start all over again with his records with the new doctor.
Best regards Terry

10th October 2011

Hiya,
firstly, Pongo has been located and is at home with us.
Steven is now an out-patient. For the time being we will remain at the rented house next to the hospital, and he will continue to receive physio' at the hospital in a 3 hour block every day, instead of split timings. We will stay there until he has had his operation on his hip. However, this has caused a minor problem in that Steven now has to see his own doctor at home for any future problems or medicines. He sees his doctor tonight, Monday, and then we'll return to the rented house late evening. There's an outside chance that his own doctor may actually suggest coming home to have the operation here, now that would be handy. I'll let you know what happens.
We came home Thursday evening for our normal weekend break, but due to the doctor's appointment the weekend break was extended, and as luck would have it, we were at home when the dog pound 'phoned to say they had the dog. Normally Monday morning we would have been at Valencia. We collected him, he was fine. From the look of him he's been looked after because he was clean and well fed. He was found about 2 miles south along the coast, his chip was checked and now we have him. We're all pleased.
Steven is fine, although he still has social issues, and doesn't like criticism or advice he doesn't like. This makes him very argumentative, he bangs his fist, cries, screams, and froths at the mouth, and looks very frightening. We're hoping that it's just him being the equivalent of a stroppy teenager as he grows, because in effect that's what's happened to Steven all this time, he's had to grow, and learn everything. We think that when he's had his operation, the pain will disappear, thus removing the cause of frustration and anger. We can only hope. Otherwise we've had a good weekend, a couple of Full English breakfasts, evening meal out, played pool with friends, long sleeps, and bingo both Paul and Steven shouting for a line.
best regards
Terry

5th October 2011

Hiya,
At last Steven has been given permission to leave his hospital room, and be an out-patient. He will live at our rented house, and visit the hospital every day for his physiotherapy. We think that his demeanour will improve once he is out of the noise and routine of a hospital, and of course he will eat better food. However this news also comes with a few surprises. No date has been given for his hip operation, however if we pay privately, it would be done, and more quickly, but at the moment the cost is unknown. We now have to decide whether to pay or to wait. Whether private or the Health Service, we don’t know where the operation will take place. If we stay here, the operation could be nearer home! If we return home, the operation could be here! We are desperately short of useful information. We have also been told, that as an out-patient we are responsible for his medication, and the only way we can get that, is to visit his own doctor at home, who writes a prescription, and we go to the local chemist. However that means a four hour round trip, plus associated problems, to see his doctor. I have arranged for a doctor here to write a prescription until we see Steven’s doctor. We have started to clear his room. There was 10months accumulation of letters, cards, gifts, DVD’s, CD’s, books, games, clothes, all manner of cables for/and electronic gadgets, comfort foods/drinks, toiletries, and general rubbish which should come useful one day!. This then made the rented house resemble the local tip, and it all had to be sorted out again. We have had to weigh up the pros and cons of the move, and we’re still not sure whether we’re doing the right thing. So there could be another change of plan by the time you read this.
Best regards
Terry

1st October 2011

Hiya
very little to add this week. We still complain about the hospital food but nothing is done, despite all other patients saying the same!! We had a productive meeting with Steven's doctors, which revealed that though they have permission for his operation, they haven't got the authorisation?? Spain is going through a monetary crisis the same as others, and some expenses have to be cut and savings made. But we have argued that the longer the delay the more problems created, and the longer the stay in hospital. We cannot do any more but just wait for any reaction, hopefully early this new month. The doctors have admitted that Steven is passing all manner of tests, the results exceeding earlier tests, and that there is little that they can do for him that we can't do at home. So we have yet again asked for Steven to live with us at the rented house near the hospital, and visit the hospital daily as an out-patient for his physio', until his operation. The doctors told us, that Steven's continued improvement now mainly depends on his own abilities. His main problems now, are his speech, which is low and almost slurred, his elbow, which cannot be done until after his hip operation, and his foot, which is improving all the time. His social and emotive issues are improving because he is at last acknowledging that he can be at fault. Basically he's trying so hard to be "normal", and should just slow down a little. He has come such a long way in his stay at the hospital, it's been remarkable, defying all the doctor's expectations. We try to enjoy our weekends at home, but this is difficult sometimes with cleaning and maintenance issues, but we get by. As if we haven't got enough problems, some nice person decided to deprive Paul of his car radio whilst his car was parked outside our house. Still no sign of Steven's dog, despite followers of a local forum looking for him, and us doing regular searches of the area. We must give a big thank you, and a hug, to Lyndsey Lyons of Javea, for her efforts to raise some money to help Steven in his path to recovery.

best regards

Terry

24th September 2011

Another weekend at home where we all try to relax. However the dog decided to make his escape Friday evening whilst Pauline and I were moving vehicles. He wasn’t wearing his collar due to just having flea drops put on his neck. We searched all his favourite places with no luck. We even left the gate ajar for him all night. Further searches next morning also unsuccessful. We now have to decide what to do when we leave Sunday evening. Notes with the neighbours seems to be all we can do. Steven is upset, but he does have other things more important on his mind, as do we. We’ll keep looking. Whilst at home, Steven admitted that he was really scared (I can’t use the words he really used!!). He was scared of the accident because he keeps thinking about it. He’s scared of the upcoming operation because he doesn’t know the outcome. He’s also scared as to what his future will be. We believe that these are the feelings that are affecting his mind, and this is why he is sometimes abrupt and rude. We have many times tried to reassure him, and to make positives out of negatives, but we do so, knowing that it isn’t us, and we’re not feeling the pain and discomfort. He is frustrated at the length of time it’s taking to put him right, but he also understands that it’s been longer for us, since he was in a coma for such a long time. He hasn’t been given a date for the operation, and he now awaits permissions for his arm operation. He cannot yet leave the hospital as an out-patient despite our pleadings that we all think it be in his best interests. We feel that Steven will need an English language speech therapist, his Spanish is fine, but his English is more of a mumble and is often difficult to understand. His computer skills are fine, as are his music mixing skills, though a little too loud for us!! His conversation level is brilliant, and he can organize his daily life and plan ahead. We feel that the hip operation is all that is needed now to really improve his life.
Best regards Terry

17th September 2011

Hiya,
coming to the end of a week's "holiday" with Steven and Paul. Last Sunday Paul took Steven back to the hospital to give me and Pauline a break, and to celebrate our 42nd wedding anniversary. To our surprise, the doctors then gave Steven permission to return home Wednesday evening, because at the moment there's not a lot more that the hospital can do. Steven can do his exercises at home, as he awaits the date for his hip replacement operation, hopefully soon. When we return on Monday we are going to ask if Steven can be an out-patient until his operation. With us, he eats and sleeps much better, and the hospital gain a room. Whilst at home we've all been out and about, shopping, drinks, meals, all the things we should do, late nights, lie-ins, no routine, no noise, and it's been great, making up for our last "holiday" when I was ill. I even took Steven on our motor scooter, much to his delight. His mobility is improving to the extent that he climbs steps and stairs with little or no help, and at a much greater speed and confidence. He also pushes his own wheelchair, and rests when he wants to. If only the pain could disappear Steven would be almost normal if I can use that word. The changes have been remarkable over the last few weeks. He continues to receive support from his friends, and thanks to Jane, another parcel of goodies.
Best regards Terry

10th September 2011

Hiya,
Steven has had permission to have the operation, we await the date. He will be having a complete half pelvis, replaced with a ceramic one. Steven is very worried, but he has to trust the doctors. He hopes that what the doctor is saying comes true re' the absence of real pain, and an improved walking state. This will obviously only be known after the operation. We all feel that with the improvement in walking, and the lack of pain, will also produce a feeling of well-being and a return to normality. His elbow will be done later. His left foot is really improving and may not need an op', the ankle straps are really doing their job and his foot movement has improved considerably, time will tell. His walking is becoming more confident, even climbing stairs unaided. His walking is still slow and painful. He's being evaluated, and due to his general improvement is likely to be an out-patient soon. We will stay at Alzira as out-patient for a while (if that's acceptable) then move back home for the same out-patient treatment at a local hospital. Steven's speech therapist is really impressed with his speech, however this speech therapy is in Spanish, and Steven has said he finds speaking English very difficult, so he may have to have further English speech therapy at a later date. Sorry about any greetings cards, I'll make up for this later, it's difficult to go shopping for cards, and even then invariably the address book is in the wrong place. Doing what we're doing is a logistical nightmare with many things being in the wrong place, whether it's 'phone chargers, documents, pills, toiletries, or clothes. At home at the moment, we're beginning to see the signs of neglect, carpets looking scruffy due to lack of proper cleaning, tiles falling off outside walls due to lack of re-grouting, weeds growing through the patio, all due to lack of time and energy to put things right. When we're home for these two days, we prefer it to be Steven's time, away from the noise and routine of hospital, and we certainly don't want to be working and ignoring him, hence the house neglect.
best regards
Terry

31st August 2011

Hiya
I’ve described many times that Steven is walking. I’ve also tried to explain that the “walking” is very primitive, slow, unsteady, and is painful. Steven is gradually getting stronger, more confident, and has a good centre of balance, and now he is being taught how to walk. Remember Steven suffered severe brain injury involving the breaking of several neurons in the inaccessible centre of the brain. These neurons or nerve pathways have had to be re-routed to make the body function correctly in all manner of ways. I should think most of us have “taught” a child to walk, but if you think about it, how do you do it? Generally speaking when a child is at an appropriate age, say 15 months, parents will hold the baby’s hands high, in effect stretching the child’s legs and encouraging the child to move forward. The child moves his/her legs and lo and behold he/she is walking. However, do we actually teach the child to walk? Or does it come natural through the encouragement received? We’ve all gone through this process, and walking comes naturally. Steven has walked, he knows how to walk, but he’s forgotten, and he feels that his body doesn’t belong to him. Consider the movements necessary to walk. All parts of the body are in motion with their own particular job, the toes, instep, ankle, knee, hip, pelvis, shoulders, arms, all have a job to do, and many of these parts were damaged, as well as losing some direct connection to the brain. Steven has to physically think of all this, and “tell” his body what to do, to enable him to walk. The faster he walks, the less time he has to think about what he’s doing. He is doing this through the pain, and with time and an increase in speed, we’re confident his walking will be almost normal. Steven cannot use any sort of walking stick due to the calcification of the left elbow, and because he cannot straighten or bend it fully.
On Tuesday 30th August we had a meeting with a surgeon, and he confirmed that Steven does need a hip operation. He explained that Steven’s left leg was pushed up 1” into his pelvis, breaking the pelvis, and locking the leg into it’s new position. This is the cause of his pain. Hopefully the operation will take place in 2 to 3 weeks time. At the same time they will operate on his left elbow to remove the calcification. The doctor further explained the problem with Steven’s left foot. Although the new foot supports are doing their job in improving the motion of the foot, the instep tendon is stronger than the outstep tendon. If the foot doesn’t improve, and it may once he’s walking better with his new hip, the doctor will consider swapping the tendons. We all felt relieved with the news, and Steven had a good nights sleep.
Best regards Terry

25th August 2011

Hiya,
well..........so much a for a 9 day holiday. I suffered with severe back ache for the whole time, plus a good cold which turned out to be virul pneumonia, wonderful!!. Spent almost the whole time in bed, and certainly indoors. Didn't do anything or go anywhere because Pauline isn't strong enough to handle Steven and his wheelchair (especially now that she herself has lost a lot of weight, she is now officially 4kgs below her recommended BMI). Steven insisted he was fine, being away from the hospital atmosphere and noise. We ate take-away pizza, burger, and fis and chips, much different to hospital food. Thank goodness for Barbra, Rene, and Pablo, all popping round to cheer up Steven, thank you, and thank you for a marvellous barbie. So...... no changes at all, except for a toothache for Steven, an infection of the nerves probably caused by lack of maintainence in the first 4 months or so, when we couldn't clean his teeth at all. Anti-biotics have removed the pain. We returned to the hospital, only for Steven to catch my cold, will it never end?? He put up with it for 3 days then gave in and spent 2 days in bed and not going to physio'. Steven is still in pain from his hip. He continues to try to walk, but until he gets some pain-management in whatever form it takes, it's going to continue to be slow work. So all in all no changes.
best regards
Terry

11th August 2011

Hiya,
not a lot has happened since last update. Steven continues to try to work hard but is prevented from doing so by sheer pain from his hip. Today, Thursday, he has returned to his wheelchair, to reduce the amount of time walking, and therefore reduce the pain. Painkillers do not help. One downside is that he continues to be abrupt with his speaking, with no thought of others. He will not interact with other patients and carers, despite their great respect for what he's achieved. He misunderstands this as noseyness. He cannot do any wrong, and if criticized by anyone, gets very angry. This isn't the Steven we know and we just hope that over time, he'll regain his social awareness. He has retained his intelligence so he's fully aware of what's happened to him, and this makes him very sad, and he thinks worryingly about the quality of his future life. We don't think he's accepted what's happened to him, and understandably he feels very bitter. We have been told to gently tell Steven when he does any wrong, we've tried, but he won't accept the advice given. It's all very sad, but we have to continue trying. He has to think positive, he says he does, but then he gets depressed again. He has regained an interest in computers and music, and this keeps him in touch with the outide world, and takes his mind temporarily off his problems. From Friday 12th until 22nd August, he has been given permission to have a holiday at home. This is good news, it will take him away from the routine, noise, and lack of privacy at the hospital, hopefully his "batteries" will be re-charged to face what may be a traumatic time, if he has the hip replacement operation.
best regards
Terry

5th August 2011

Another good and busy weekend. Due to Steven’s slight improvement in walking, we visited a local sports goods store, and bought him a good pair of Nike trainers. With the new fixing clips for his ankle support, he felt the improvement in his walking immediately, as we could tell from the broad smile on his face. His walk was clearer and faster, with a lot of confidence. However this produces a lot of hip pain. We’ve had discussions about the hip, and we’ve all come to same conclusion that it would be better if he could have a hip replacement operation, because it would remove the existing chance of pain, and improve his walking and general well-being, even if an early operation had the possibility of another operation in a few years time. However Steven can only do this with the agreement of the doctors. We await their opinion. Steven desperately wants to return home, but he and us feel that it would be better to have the hip, and the elbow operations at the earliest opportunity. The danger is that if he goes home and comes under the control of a local hospital, he will go to the end of their waiting list. He's perhaps better of where he is. Last Saturday and Sunday morning were just relaxing times for all of us. No timetable, no noises except for Steven’s music, talking, or sleep or read when we wanted, lovely. Sunday afternoon we picked up Rene and we all went to Benidorm, Steven in the back seat of the car for the first time. He was nervous, but otherwise no problems. At Benidorm we walked around a small shopping area, with Steven saying that this is the first time he’d walked in public for a long time and that it felt weird. At one point we sat on a bench for a rest, and we were soon bothered by a local drunk asking for a cigarette. We ignored him, and I joked to Steven that if there was a problem watch my back. However this comment drew the comment from Steven that he was aware that he couldn’t protect anyone in his condition, and didn’t know when he would be able to. This upset him greatly, especially as he was with Rene, a prime concern for him at the moment. The drunk went on his way and we did our best to lighten the mood especially as the drunk took a full pack of cigarettes out of his pocket?? The walking though paid a toll for Steven, the pain in his hip was intense. We hope the doctors listen to Steven’s pleas for an operation. We changed over car contents, and Paul took Steven back to the hospital, whilst we returned home. For a short time Steven has been suffering with toothache. A visit to the hospital dentist revealed that he had at least 2 broken teeth, as a result of the accident, and were only now beginning to cause problems. We’ve been told that the Health Service will bear the cost of the removal of the teeth, but will not cover the cost of any subsequent repair or replacement. Steven has made amazing progress since coming out of his coma, but we all still have a huge sense of anger at what’s happened to him, and to us as a family. It’s as though when there’s an improvement, there’s a setback. I’ve mentioned this so many times before, but it doesn’t get any easier. And there’s nothing we can do to prevent the setbacks, nor anything we can do to help Steven. It’s as though so many people are against us. We can understand the hospitals’ reluctance to spend money on operations and after care due to financial restrictions. Then there’s the insurance who have a responsibility to their owners or shareholders to reduce costs, and therefore payments. Then there’s the Courts who are so overwhelmed with caseloads. Then there’s the person who did this to Steven. There is nowhere where we can vent our anger and frustration. We are totally dependant on all manner of different organisations and people. In the middle of all this is Steven suffering both physically and mentally. If only everyone was able to pull together to look after Steven’s concerns, he would get better more quickly, and therefore ultimately reduce costs. All we can do is push for this to happen, and encourage Steven the best way we can, but there’s only so much we can say and do, it’s all been said and done before. Your messages of support have helped enormously, thank you.
Best regards
Terry

30th July 2011

Hiya,
Steven continues to improve. Having been given extra confidence by the removal of most walking aids, he does a lot of walking exercise. Playing games with the physio’ staff, climbing stairs, more swimming. He still has the Velcro straps around his ankle, and now he has a very clever, moulded support under his toes on his left foot, to help them bend and straighten. However all this is conducted under severe pain. Following previously unclear x-rays, a CAT scan revealed that he has suffered a small fracture of the left hip. The result of this is lack of mobility and of course pain. He’s been told that it is likely he will continue to be in pain, unless the bone wears in a way which makes the pain bearable. The alternative is to have a hip replacement. The only problem with this is that any hip replacement operation will need to be repeated every 15 or so years. Steven and us have already made the decision that he will have the operation if and when the doctors agree to do it. Steven’s left elbow is also causing problems in that he can almost straighten it, but not bend it fully. This is caused by calcification in the elbow joint. This can also only be rectified by an operation. However Steven is improving so well that the doctors are considering sending him home and be dealt with as an out-patient locally. Steven and us would like him to be home, but would that move send him to the back of any queue and delay any operations? Would it be better to have the operations where he is, and delay his homecoming just by a few weeks? So again he has decided, if he can, to have the operations as soon as possible.
One small crisis last weekend. I accompanied Steven to our swimming pool, a manoeuvre we have done many times. I climbed onto the surrounding border, and stepped down onto the first step. Steven stood on the raised border. I stepped down to the second step, but before either of us was steady we both slipped. We both fell from the edge of the pool and onto the patio, where Steven’s head forcibly struck a large terracotta plant pot, breaking the rim of the pot. I had done my best to get under him as he fell but wasn’t fully successful. Steven is 6ft tall, and he was nearly one foot above ground level, so his head fell about 7ft to hit the pot. It was a very traumatic, worrying, and emotional time for all of us, but luckily no damage was caused to Steven. He certainly must have a thick skull.
After 260 days, finally the early morning daily stomach injections have been stopped. We’ve been trying to get this stopped for many weeks due to Steven not being bed-ridden. Steven’s stomach is full of bruises from the injections, so he is glad that they’ve been stopped.
As for other problems. Steven is still not fully socially and emotionally correct in his dealings with people. His behaviour isn’t inappropriate, it’s just sometimes childish. He truly is growing up again. Yet inter-mixed with this is beautiful speech, very deep, thoughtful, and intelligent. We’re sure that Steven is responding to treatment possibly due to him looking forward to his weekends at home, the days at the hospital now seem to fly by much faster.
We’ve been here at the hospital now for 7 months, I thought I’d share some observations of the place. There are probably about 60/70 patients there, and they’re all seen by physio’ staff at irregular times throughout the day. Sometimes there are over 30 patients waiting in the waiting room along with their carers, making it extremely crowded. Many patients and the carers know the histories of each other, and it’s pleasing to see the progress of these patients, but sad to see the ones that don’t seem to progress as quickly. At least 2 patients have died.
I haven’t got exact statistics, but as a rough guide, I would say that over 90% of patients are men. About 10% are children, say from a few months to about 7yrs old. About 10% are elderly senior citizens. The remainder in the main are young men. The problems are similarly varied. They are there due to serious injury or from such things as strokes. Everyone shares the achievements of the patients.
Steven is seen as “the miracle one”, because people knew of the circumstances of his condition on arrival, and have seen him improve.
Another lad of Steven’s age, and there due to a car accident, has been there 2yrs, but there are small signs of improvement. In the short time we’ve been there we can see that he is aware of what’s going on around him, and he smiles at comments made.
Another lad, there from a car accident, was extremely violent and nasty, unable to speak and fidgety, has changed so much he is now talking and is settling down.
Another young lad involved in a motor-cycle accident where his head caught on fire under his helmet is now walking and talking, and helping other patients, incredible.
Another man, there for 8months with very little improvement had collapsed with a stroke whilst playing football. We are noticing very slight eye and hand movements.
Another man suffered an epileptic fit whilst having a shower. He fell hitting the tap and knocked it to full heat, remaining there for 30minutes, receiving horrible scalds about his head and face. He is beginning to acknowledge people by making sounds.
There’s a lady who suffered from a virus making her lose all bodily functions except her eyes, and all her memory. She’s had to be taught everything, and has had to be shown photographs of her own family. She has walked, but has regressed a little. These things do take time.
Another man we first saw in a wheel chair, progressed to a walking frame to a walking stick, but has also regressed and is back in a wheelchair.
Another man from an accident was also in a wheelchair, then went to using a walking stick, is also back in a wheelchair.
There is a very young boy who repeatedly smacks his own face with his hand.
There is an elderly man who repeatedly screams at the top of his voice when excited, otherwise he’s quiet and talkative.
There is a lady suffering from severe injury from a car accident who constantly swears, loudly.
There’s a pitiful young girl there, about 10yrs old, who has no control of any bodily function, and who has apparently been abandoned by her family. There’s little anyone can do because people have their own patients to deal with, and the nurses are too busy, but somehow she does receive some care and attention from nurses, auxiliaries, and carers.
There are so many stories, and everyone shares with the trials and tribulations. But no-one gives up, the staff and carers are constantly working to improve the lives of the patients. We all acknowledge when there is an obvious improvement in any patient, whether it’s an eye or hand movement of minute proportions. But we wonder how we would feel if it wasn’t Steven making such good improvements, but it was one of the others who was improving. So it makes us wonder how these other people are feeling. We just have to hope that their charges improve also. Any recovery however slight is seen as a minor miracle. Using Steven as an example bearing in mind that he has remembered things from when he was in a coma, our only fear is that patients who cannot communicate in any way, are totally aware of what’s going on but are in no position to say or do anything about it. We just hope that they are not knowingly suffering inside.
best regards
Terry

22nd July 2011

Hiya, the insurance doctor came to see Steven again as she does on regular monthly visits. All she seems to be interested in is reducing any payout of monies from the taxi insurance company. She doesn’t want to learn the truth of Steven’s injuries. Yes he’s getting better, but she doesn’t take into account the pain, the psychological trauma, the inconvenience to him and us, his embarrassment, his and our workload. Nothing!!! She says Steven can walk, but she doesn’t say he can walk only with assistance, either personal or mechanical. She says Steven can talk, but she doesn’t say that it’s with difficulty due to jaw damage. She seems not to care about Steven’s difficulty in grasping social and emotional issues. She doesn’t care about the awful scar on his left leg. She doesn’t seem to care that Steven has difficulty controlling his hands, sometimes he appears clumsy. She doesn’t realise that he gets nervous very easily, and visibly shakes when in public situations. She doesn’t want to know about the fact that Steven has difficulty regulating his own body temperature. Has she forgotten that Steven suffered horrendous brain damage and he has had to be almost re-born. Steven has had to re-learn everything. She has no feeling whatsoever for Steven’s feelings. There seems to be no thought for Steven’s long term future, whether it’s extra pain, extra health problems, or whether he’ll need help at home as time goes on. Steven will probably need a lot of money for his future, there is no guarantee that he will be able to work or obtain a pension in this current crisis. There seems to be no thought to our feelings, our work, our expenses. We are so angry that this situation has been forced on us. We suspect that Steven will only be given a certain amount of money, but believe me, whatever he receives, it will not be enough, and the more angry we get, the more money we want for him, especially when we seem to have no sympathy towards his situation. We are constantly contacting our solicitor to give him our feelings, we are Steven’s representatives and we have to take care of him and will push for what we believe he’s entitled to.
This is getting better, another good week for Steven. The physio’ staff now have the confidence to allow Steven to walk more and more on his own. Always under supervision but with no personal or mechanical aids, except for the vital ankle and foot supports. These are proving to be a boon, giving Steven more and more confidence himself as if he needed more. Steven now only uses the wheelchair for long outdoor excursions, otherwise it’s just the walking frame. His speech is occasionally a little slurred due to his difficulty in opening his mouth properly when talking. When yawning he opens his mouth wide, but when talking it’s different. Steven still tends to have social issues, in that he has little concept of time, or has the attitude “what’s the rush”, when we are waiting for him to do something or go somewhere. He doesn’t take any sort of criticism easily, so we have to be careful of what we say. He has a small appetite for hospital food and won’t eat extra food which could be provided by us, but when out for the weekend he eats well. Otherwise everything is coming along slowly but surely. We had another weekend at home. No problems with the journey. We had meals out with friends, and he saw his own friends. Returning to the hospital Sunday, we went to Benidorm where we met up with Paul. Also there by pure chance was our good friend, and as she says “our substitute daughter”, was Jane Heneghan with husband Paddy. Jane has been a loyal supporter of Steven in many ways, even though she hasn’t seen him for over 10yrs. A lovely reunion. After a drink or two, Paul took Steven back to the rented house and the hospital, whilst Pauline and I had a few days on our own back at home. Hardly a rest though, many jobs have piled up in our absence, but a rest it was. On Tuesday 19th we received the news by ‘phone from Paul, that Steven’s doctors are delighted with his progress and are considering allowing him home permanently, and to go to a local hospital as an out-patient. This is excellent news. Although these weekends at home are most welcome, and important to bring normality back into all our lives, they do make life complicated. For just over 7months we have lived between our rented house and the hospital room, taking it in turns to care for Steven. Whilst doing this we have to constantly plan ahead in all manner of things. Often things are in the wrong place when needed such as ‘phone chargers, clothes, cosmetics, documents, medicines etc. We never know when the mobile ‘phone will need charging, and we never know when someone is going to contact us regarding some aspect of our lives. If clothes get dirty, we need a spare set in both places. If we get a headache we need the paracetamol. Now that we’re coming home regularly, we now have a third place to consider. It certainly makes life interesting!!
Best regards Terry

12th July 2011

An excellent week for Steven. Small but noticeable improvements in all areas. He no longer uses the wheelchair within the confines of the hospital, using a walking frame instead to go from his room to physio’. He is successfully negotiating stairs, up and down. He is walking on his own, slowly but surely, including walking with his hands clasped behind his back to prove that he has balance. Sometimes his walking is quite fluid and natural, other times he can be clumsy, this depending on his level of pain, and how tired he is. He now has two supports on his left foot. One which supports and protects his left ankle, preventing the ankle from turning inward, the other a system of Velcro straps which makes his left foot adopt the correct angles when walking. Both supports are uncomfortable and cause a fair amount of irritation, especially in the heat we’re experiencing at the moment. Obviously whenever we see these improvements we offer encouragement, but he doesn’t need that, he’s so determined to do this. Swimming is still a problem. Formerly a competent swimmer, he now struggles in his actions, and in his breathing. His left arm has suddenly become straighter, whether this is from his limited swimming action we don’t know, but it’s certainly better. However he still cannot fully bend his left arm. Steven is now using his laptop on a regular basis, and is quite proficient in it’s use, showing improvement in manual dexterity, and in the way his mind is working. Steven was in a very reflective mood last week. He’s mentioned before that he feels that he doesn’t own the body he has. This time he was talking about how he is learning to discover people. He’s suddenly realised, with much surprise, that there are as many fake people as good people, and he has to learn who he can trust in the future. Although not making plans, he insists that he is going to start his second life, and will concentrate on himself in the short term. He is still prone to being upset when mildly admonished, so we try our best not to tell him what to do, or even tell him if he does something wrong, but just ignore his failings. On Friday 8th July, we again returned home for the weekend. No problems during the journey for Steven or his dog. After a full English breakfast en route, I took Steven into town to meet a good friend Veronica Lozano. I sat in the background whilst they chatted and laughed, it was good to see. Friday evening we all went to Alan’s Bar, where we saw Lyndsey Madden and Javi Seva. For Javi this was very emotional, as the last time he saw Steven was in the first few weeks of his coma. Steven and Javi were inconsolable, but so happy. They have known each other for over 20yrs, Javi seeing Steven grow up. Many others at the bar came to Steven to congratulate him on his recovery progress. Saturday evening I took Steven to the O Zone area for him to speak with Kelly Dintino(me in the background again), and then later with another friend Irene Duncan we went to Steven’s old restaurant Pizza Nostra in town. In town he met up with a walking/running friend Jose, who was so pleased to see him, and then he saw an old friend Pete, a regular reader of this blog, he too was pleased to see him. After an excellent meal, we went to Bar Cinco Lobitos, a favourite haunt of Steven’s to see the owner, Ramon, friends for 12 yrs. An excellent night, very emotional, but Steven handled it all very well. Sunday lunchtime, Irene joined us again for a meal and relax around the pool. Then it was the long journey home, this time without incident. Steven goes very quiet after his weekends away, and it just may be that he sees people his age enjoying themselves, and he cannot yet join in. Also he knows he’s going back to the pain and discomfort of physio’, and though he hates the expression “poco y poco” he knows that it’s true. We have to keep reminding him of how he was just a few short weeks ago. We are considering letting him read his blog just to show him how far he’s come along this road to full recovery, but I want him to tell me of his dreams when in a coma, so that we can tell him whether they were real or not. We’ll see.
Best regards Terry

3rd July 2011

Not sure these weekends out are good for Steven. During the week he's been down and depressed, not helped by being told that he may have done too much the previous weekend. Too much walking, too much time in the pool, too many people, wrong foods. We can understand the hospital being careful, but people are different, and they all act and react differently to all kinds of stresses. Steven wants to work, he's determined, he wants to get better, and we're not going to jeopardise that in any way. We are the ones constantly supervising Steven, we are the ones who should be spoken to, and we've told the doctors this. We do what the doctors say and just bend the rules a little. As an example if the doctors say walk 50metres, Steven will walk 70. Steven has to get out there to meet people, to give him hope that he will be able to join them equally one day. We can't just wrap him in bubblewrap. There are people in the hospital who, due to Steven's improvements, are now much worse than him, a few are overweight, many cannot do what Steven can now do, surely the protocols cannot be the same for everyone. For the first time Steven showed his anger and/or frustration to his doctor and she was surprised. Whether this will enable her to change his routine we'll soon find out. This weekend Steven was given permission to leave the hospital for the weekend. We stayed in our rented house within sight of the hospital, due to it being Paul's birthday and if we went home we wouldn't be able to celebrate it with him. Friday evening we stayed at the house with a takeaway Chinese, and Steven using his laptop for the first time. Saturday morning he had a quiet day with no routine, and just gentle exercise. Saturday afternoon we went to Javea to meet up with Paul at chiringito, and drank mojitos watching the sea, although Steven had to make do with a coke. From there we went to the Arenal area of Javea for a bar meal in a popular area, followed by a drink in another bar where thre was an excellent singer Adam King. This Adam has also been involved in an accident where he broke his back, but he is now fine, and he did offer encouragement to Steven. It was here that Steven became depressed again. It must be hard for him to be like this, so close to being better. He just wants it to end, he's fed up and he's had enough, and he wants it all to end. He sees all these young people having fun and he can't even walk properly let alone join in. He feels that people are watching him trying to see what's the matter with him and may be picking up the wrong signals, them not realising what he's gone through. I mean, he can't walk around with a sign saying "I died 5 times" can he? It was a very tearful and emotional moment. But we've run out of words. What can we say that hasn't been said before. He knows he's getting better. He knows he has the support of all you people and us. Do the words become meaningless, only time will tell.
Best regards Terry

29th June 2011

I returned to the hospital from home, Thursday, 23rd, to collect Steven to take him home for the first time, just happening to coincide with his birthday on 25th. WE had a good journey except for the last 5kms of a 200kms journey when he felt motion sickness, not surprising really, being so long without going for long journeys. It was emotional for him to see the house. He walked from the car to the house, and walked around the house in relative comfort, using as many handholds as he could. We had a very full weekend of activities. Briefly:- people jumping over fires on the local beaches; grand firework display accompanied by music; stroll around town; proper haircut for the first time for 8months; hugs and kisses from people coming out of shops when they saw him; meal at his favourite restaurant, and where he used to work, meeting many staff from that and other nearby restaurants, many of them moved to tears; meeting of friends, one who had seen him in his coma, at yet another restaurant; a full chill-out day for his birthday receiving messages from friends; barbecue at a friend’s house, who had also seen him in the early days; 10metre tracker firework; visit to Sacko’s bar for a mini-party, well wishers, music, 20metre tracker firework, cake in the shape of crash test dummies; visit at home from Eddie and Alex from FCTF fan club, bringing with them monies collected from many sources; visit to Los Frutales Sports bar for Steven to meet up with many of his friends, many who had seen him in the coma stage, another 10metre tracker firework; visit to the last bar he worked in, Legends, again to see colleagues who saw him in his coma; dip in the pool at home; visit by a friend who had a similar accident several years ago and who was told he’d never walk again, well he did, and he’s an inspiration to Steven; then the long drive back to the hospital which was interrupted by a traffic jam for an earlier accident.
The whole weekend was brilliant in all respects. Except for Steven feeling a little overwhelmed by the crowds at the fireworks on the beach, he coped admirably with everything. He only used his wheelchair for short periods, mainly doing his best to walk just holding hands. Thank you to all his friends for making him feel comfortable and welcome. At times it was very emotional for all concerned, after all, it was last November when I was ‘phoning family and friends to say we were going to lose Steven, and we didn’t expect to celebrate this birthday, but he’s proved that with a lot of care and determination, he’s going to recover fully.
Steven and us must give our thanks to everyone from this site and from the FCTF for the monies collected. I have told him every message, card, and gift, received of support for him from everyone. It makes us marvel that such wonderful people are out there caring for someone who in many respects is a total stranger. But these people are no longer strangers but friends. Steven and us can only offer our grateful thanks. Steven will use the monies to buy a television for his bedroom, and a good quality laptop case. Both will help in his recuperation. Once again THANK YOU.
From Monday, Steven was a little depressed, probably thinking of the weekend. He knows he’s in the best place, and hopefully the weeks will seem shorter now, because we are going to try to go home more often.
Best regards Terry

23rd June 2011

Last weekend Pauline and I took Steven into Alzira for a change of scenery. After visiting a bar for an essential "Pepito de casa" of bacon and cheese, we went for a trip around the town. For a modern town we were disappointed at the state of awareness for wheelchair users. Very few ramps at road junctions, and deep kerbs. We of course managed with just a little discomfort for Steven. After another visit to bar for a coke we returned home, where Steven had some time with his dog. It's good to see them being re-aquainted. We have been given permission for Steven to return home for the following weekend (starts today Thursday 23rd). So Pauline and I made the decision to return home with the dog, and prepare the house. We had 3 days at home hopefully making it wheelchair friendly, and the pool cleaned. Steven in the meantime has worked really hard to walk properly. He's been instructed to walk a little faster, and to swing his arms as normal. He does this but is nervous in doing so. He finds it difficult to maintain his balance, but as we keep saying, he's determined to get better. He's been in the hospital pool again, floated a little better. The physio's are continuing to be pleased with his progress, especially one who has returned from a long leave of absence and seen his difference. Steven is looking forward to his weekend with excitement and apprehension. We have a few schemes in mind, but the main party will be when he returns home for good.
Best regards
Terry

16th June 2011

Hiya,
another good few days. Steven has a new ankle support which is a system of elasticated straps and velcro, and this helps the front of the foot to lift, hopefully to prevent flat footed walking. It's difficult for him to get used to, but he's a trier. The walking is improving in stages. At the moment he's walking a little flat-footed, almost a shuffle, and with his left leg taking a longer stride than his right leg. This is because he's had a heavy plastic orthopaedic boot on his left leg for such a long time. This action causes him to move towards the right, and not in a straight line requiring much adjustment. He's also walking slow, because he's having to "tell" all his body bits to move. He's been told to try to walk faster so that he hasn't got time to think and "tell" the legs to move. He's tried this for short periods and it does work. Sometimes he just glides, and it's brilliant. He's also climbing steps, that's enabled him to visit us at our rented house. We continue to let him have time out of the hospital, shops, cafes, etc, but he doesn't like people staring at him. Wednesday afternoon when Paul went to collect Steven from physio', he was called to the physio' dept' by all the other carers, to see Steven walking with a tripod walker. This is the first time Paul had seen Steven walking independantly. Earlier Steven said he'd been walking with no aids, just leaning with one hand on the wall. The walking is improving faster than anticipated, but there's a possibility he'll need new orthopaedic items to help him, and/or an operation on his left foot. That evening he came down to the house with Paul, he sat in an armchair, and played on Paul's Playstation 3. He was able to use the hand controls with some ease. His talking is improving, sounding more like the old Steven. After a pizza and garlic bread, he returned to the hospital room. Today Thursday he was in the hospital swimming pool, and again tried to swim, the crawl stroke, but his legs sink. But a little better than last week. There is still a sense of depression mainly due to sheer frustration. He knows he's slowly getting better but it's not fast enough for him, and he wants to be out of here, now. So we're having to rein him in and slow him down a little. He still hasn't been taught to shave, shower, or climb steps, but he's doing all these things with great care and under constant observation by us.
best regards
Terry

9th June 2011

Hiya,an excellent week. Several improvements. Last Friday evening, Steven walked 200metres with the aid of a walking frame, followed by an 80 metre walk just holding my hand. He seems to walk better when he goes at a faster pace, because he then hasn't got time to think about what he's doing. When he walks slow he's thinking about his toes, his ankle, his knees and his legs, "telling" each part to do it's bit. He has a tendency to have a longer pace with his left foot, probably due to the heavy boot he has to wear normally, but not when he’s using the frame. After this mini-marathon he had a shower, by himself, this giving him yet more, but small, independance. However the following day, he'd been bubbled by the shower police, and was admonished for having a shower without proper training. This is what is beginning to annoy us about this place. Despite all their wonderful work, they insist on slowing him down at every opportunity instead of giving him constructive criticism. He was then told off for shaving himself, despite the fact he's been doing this for over a month. Every new thing Steven does, is closely monitored by us, until we allow him to do things for himself. He takes great pride in doing everything he can, to get better, not wishing to be a burden on anyone, he just wants to get out of here for the right reasons, he has a life to live. After the shower, I took Steven in the car to our rented house, where he climbed 5 steps to the patio, to sit in a patio chair, and enjoy a coffee with us. He hasn't been taught to climb steps yet, we await the warning!! On our return to the hospital I was told off for not signing Steven out from the hospital, apparently a hanging offence if the 2 tellings off are to be believed. Saturday morning, after signing Steven out, we made a trip to Alzira for a walk around a superstore, before having a burger and coke at McDonalds, which we all thoroughly enjoyed. Sunday morning we all went to Corbera for a car boot sale. A relaxing walk round although at times it did get a little too crowded for the wheelchair. These trips out are so important, it gets Steven away from those 4 walls, gives him fresh air, and up to a point gives him some control on where he goes, and what he does. He's getting more confident with his speaking, the melodious tone is returning, but he still has a little difficulty moving his neck and jaw. Monday, Pauline and I had another 3 day break, leaving Steven in the very capable hands of Paul. They also went to McDonalds, as well as small trips around the hospital grounds. Steven continued to shower and shave despite what the hospital staff say. Wednesday evening Steven and Paul came down to join us at the rented house, and again Steven climbed the steps, this time with some ease. Thursday morning, today, Steven was in the swimming pool for the first time. He tried swimming but found it difficult to float, which is slightly important. Although Steven’s brain has been re-booted and re-formatted, he is unlikely to be able to breathe like a fish. He found it difficult to walk in the pool due to the action of the water forcing him to slightly lose his balance.
So, a good week. Lots of small trips, and life is getting a little easier for all of us. Steven continues to work with determination, and we will continue to encourage him to do so.
Best regards Terry

28th May 2011

Hiya,
we think our work starts now. We're having a lot of problems with Steven. Wednesday evening we had a full-on emotional crisis, where he went ballistic, and needed 4 nurses and me to calm and hold him down. All it needs is a wrong word in the wrong place and Steven gets hypercritical, and this is what happened. I was trying to talk a little sense to him due to his general attitude to everyone, but he wouldn't take the advice, saying that it's everyone else’s fault. Basically he has no social skills whatsoever, despite his strangely increased intelligence. He can put forward reasonable arguments on almost every subject, but does it without emotion. Strangely, he talks completely different to his girl friends, and is a really pleasant. So.............he has the body of a 26yr old, the intelligence of a grown-up, he talks almost like a 12yr old child, but seems to have the emotions and tantrums of a 6yr old, work all that out, and hopefully you'll see what we're up against. The doctors explained it very cleverly, they said, "Can you tell Steven to run now?" I of course replied "No". The doctor then said basically, that just because Steven's body is reacting very well, it doesn't mean his brain is improving at the same rate. All those nerve endings are still connecting. Steven cannot discriminate between emotions, this is why he's fine with his girlfriends but not with us or anyone else. Steven is pushing the boundaries of control as would any child. If you tell a child not to touch a hot object, chances are the child will touch it. This is the way the child learns. Steven has got to learn the same way. He will make mistakes, and eventually hopefully learn from them. When I saw Steven’s doctor, I was in a real state myself because of my lack of experience and understanding as to what’s happening to Steven. I stayed with her for one hour, which was a non-scheduled meeting, so I must have upset her schedule that morning. Later that day Steven was angry that I had spoken to his doctor. It’s difficult to explain, but we all cry most days, sometimes with happiness that Steven has done something different whatever it is, other times we cry through frustration and anger at what we’ve been put through. After my conversation with the doctor, she must have formulated a plan of some sort, because on Friday afternoon, Steven came out of physio’ carrying the doctor’s report which we’ve seen many times. It seems he was given this report so that he could realise why we’re so careful and protective of him. Steven was so upset, because for the first time, he’d seen evidence of what an awful state he was in. The report is far too complicated for my limited Spanish, and I can’t trust the Google translator with such a large document. I just hand it in to Solicitor etc. For the first time even we were surprised at the report’s contents. Steven died once at the scene of the accident, he died 3 times in the ambulance from Torrevieja to Benidorm, and he died again once more at Benidorm. We were never told this, or we were in too much of a state to understand the enormity of it all. Further to that, we have learned of extra injuries. On top of what we knew, he also suffered a broken jaw, fractured left elbow, collapsed stomach, and most of his back and shoulder muscles on the left side were dislocated. His jaw and elbow are like his ribs, they can’t be put right by dressings etc, they have to get better themselves. This all helps us all to understand what’s happening to Steven. The broken neck, the broken jaw, and the moved muscles all explain his difficulty in moving his neck, and why it’s difficult for him to speak. He is trying so hard to get better, but his brain and body are against him. I think it’s going to take a lot of physio’ to get him back together. Ref’ the broken neck, the break was one of the outer bones, away from the spinal cord which was broken, but that’s where muscles are attached, no wonder he has problems. He is getting limited movement in his left foot, but if he curls his toes under his foot, it becomes painful. Most of his pain now comes from his hip. But I’m sure the more exercise he does, the quicker these pains will go.
Best regards, Terry

23rd May 2011

A busy week for all of us. Monday Pauline and I returned to Torrevieja in the hope of sorting out Steven’s pension after being passed from office to office for several weeks. The lady at the Social Security office was very helpful. Apparently because Steven is in hospital receiving a bed and food he’s not entitled to a pension. As soon as he is discharged from hospital he will be assessed as to his capabilities, and any entitlement to a pension will start then. This all makes sense, but it would have been much better if one of the previous 7 people had told us that, to save us all the form filling, telephone calls, and travel involved. When this was done Pauline and I took a well earned break in Benidorm, half board in a hotel, our first break for over 6 months. A good holiday, not that playing bingo did us any favours with other people on our table winning, and us going home with empty pockets. No cleaning, no cooking, no washing up for 3 days, wonderful. We returned to learn that Steven had had an operation on Tuesday to remove his feeding tube. We have been waiting for this for several weeks, this will make Steven feel better, not having an usused plastic tube hanging from his stomach. The operation wasn’t a problem, but Steven said that the anaesthetic drip in his arm was painful. Thursday evening, by prior arrangement I collected Andy from Alzira. Andy is walking from Rome to Ronda to raise funds and awareness of disadvantaged children in Andalucia. He visited Steven, before going to our rented house for a meal. We returned for time with Steven. It’s the likes of Steven which is the focus of his charity, and Andy was pleased to see the recovery in Steven. It was during this conversation that Steven described how he really felt. He said that he knows he’s getting better, and he knows that his intelligence and memory seem to be okay, but he feels that his body doesn’t belong to him. A very strange thing to say, but makes sense, if his brain has been re-booted. He has to mentally tell every part of his body what to do, learning everything all over again as would a child. Andy left Friday morning to continue his walk south. Friday morning Pauline and I were summoned to the hospital during Steven’s physio’ session, to be shown how Steven was to use a walking frame. Similar to a zimmer frame, but smaller. First I had to learn how to put on a support “boot” to Steven’s left foot, with a complicated arrangement of Velcro straps. Then Steven proceeded to walk the length of the waiting room and back, about 50yds, it was good to see this. Steven has been practicing in the physio’, and was now being allowed to walk with us. That evening we took the frame to Steven’s room in order that he could walk whenever he wanted, which he did several times over the weekend. He walked around the hospital floor, a total of about 100yds each time. He takes his time, it makes his muscles ache, but he’s determined to do this. He continues to dress, undress, and wash himself, and when his feeding tube “hole” has healed, he’ll be taught to shower himself. However although his body appears to be healing well, we’re having concerns about his head. There’s no doubt he has retained or even bettered his intelligence, but he still seems to have the mentality of a child. He seems to treat us, his carers, as children, none of us can do anything correct. What is done for him one way one day, sometimes has to be done a different way another day. He’s very abrupt to the point of rudeness when he talks to anyone, including us. If he doesn’t get his own way, or sees us apparently objecting to what he says, even just by a simple facial expression, he gets upset, and sometimes angry. Saturday morning was typical of this, when Steven was very abrupt answering Pauline’s questions about toilet, clothes, and food. All this started because earlier I had put his socks on wrong, even though I hadn’t finished doing so. We were told a long time ago, that when things happen like this, we have a choice, do what he wants, or ignore him. We feel it’s best to ignore him when he’s in such moods. Steven was even told by a nurse that he seemed angry when he spoke, and asked us if that was true, we told him it was. Steven has every right in the world to feel angry at what’s happened to him, but we cannot allow ourselves to also become ill with worry. By Sunday evening Steven’s attitude had changed for the better, and we enjoyed an evening watching a dvd and eating left over Easter eggs.
Best regards
Terry

14th May 2011

An interesting week or so. We don’t know what’s happening with the doctors in physio’, but there seems to be little in the way of encouragement for Steven. He was actually told that he had learning difficulties and couldn’t speak Spanish. This was determined by him being unable to do simple arithmetic, and some obscure spelling tests. But Steven didn’t finish his schooling for a variety of reasons, but has had plenty of learning in the school of life. In any case he hasn’t come here to gain a degree, not increase his education, he’s simply here to work hard at getting better. This he’s doing with the help of doctors and physio, but sometimes their methods are bizarre. A simple “well done” would work wonders. On Thursday 12th May, whilst waiting for Steven to come out of physio, the doors opened and I saw Steven slowly walking with a walking frame, otherwise unaided, to cheers from the waiting carers who also saw him. Steven hasn’t complained of any of his old pains for several days, only the pain of exercise which he’s used to and doesn’t mind at all. It’s wonderful to hear him say that his left foot is itching, surely a sign of returning feeling. His movement between bed and chair is getting easier, sometimes with very little supporting help. His walk is still a shuffling motion, but he is gaining more confidence in his abilities. He can wash his own hands and face, he can shave, and he can partially dress and undress himself. He can bend his left knee to his chest with only a little discomfort to his hips. He hasn’t been taught to wash and shave, it’s through his own determination and our encouragement. We are refusing to use the feeding tube in his stomach, due to that fact that he’s had 6 recent infections, and we have asked for it’s removal. Apparently it’s protocol to have the feeding tube there, in case he chokes or develops lung problems, but at no time has a doctor ever used a stethoscope to listen to his chest to see how he is. And, he is still being fed fish which has choke inducing bones!! We wish that these doctors would sometimes think out the box occasionally and give us some credit or even trust to use common sense. He now takes his medicine with thick water, no problems. We still continue to feed him with fresh food provided by his Mum, rather than the constant supply of fish at the hospital. Pauline and I are returning home next week due to problems with the Social Security office, and have decided to have a 2 day break in Benidorm, our first break in 6 months. We return on Thursday to accommodate friend Andy who is walking from Rome to Ronda to raise awareness of disadvantaged Andalucian children. (www.romaronda.info).
Best regards Terry

9th May 2011

Another excellent week, where Steven has learnt to shave himself, wash his own hands and face, and move between chair and bed with some ease, sometimes by him just having a hand on our shoulders. He still has mobility problems, mainly shuffling of feet, but these have been helped a little by him feeling his muscles move on the front of his left shin, and top of his left foot, and also very slight movement of little toes on left foot. All small stuff, often resulting in tears of happiness, but an improvement none the less. Think about it, why should a person cry, just for being able to wash his face, amazing.
Still not sure what’s happening to his head, because he speaks fluently in English and Spanish, often using new long and complicated words and phrases that we’ve never heard from him before, apparently above his normal intelligence level, and yet he speaks with the voice and mannerisms of a 10 to 12yr old boy. Very strange. It’s this apparent naivety which has obliged us to take a Power of Attorney over Steven’s life. That was fun and games that was, we had to prove that we were Steven’s parents, by having birth and wedding certificates officially translated into Spanish, and then be interviewed by a Notary official. We were really made to “jump through hoops”, and the only thing we haven’t done is give blood for DNA testing.
Myself and Pauline have just spent 4 days at home, leaving Paul in charge. We went home to speak with solicitor, Social Security, and the Police. We received a lot of information, much of it favourable, and some, downright crazy. For example, to assess Steven for any pension he may be entitled to, he has to be assessed in the area he lives, but that’s impossible due to his current condition and location. We’ve made further enquiries and have to return home again next week to try to resolve the issue. We also learned that it takes 18 months to be issued with a disabled parking permit? Where can the application form be for 18 months, how many people are going to see it in how many offices? We expected fill form in, hand form over, receive permit!
Paul took Steven out one evening for a coffee. No problem with movement between car and chair, but at a cafe, many people of different ages, sat and stared at him making him feel very uncomfortable. Otherwise, Paul said there was no depression, far from it, they had a good time together. The only real downside to the week is that Steven has yet another infection in his stomach feeding tube. That’s the 6th infection. We haven’t used the tube for several weeks for that reason. We’ve asked that the tube be removed, but we’ve been told it must stay there, and will in fact be replaced with another one next week. It seems that the doctors have no confidence in our ability to care for Steven correctly. We’ve been told that the tube must stay there for the intake of liquids, because liquids through the mouth may seep into his lungs, and yet in all the time he has been at the hospital he’s never had his lungs listened to! If this tube was removed, it would be a boost to his morale.
I have been told by my own doctor that I must have my gallstone operation and not delay it any further, and might as well have the operation here and share a room with Steven. That’ll be fun! So that will have to be sorted this week.
There have been a couple of unsavoury characters attacking the Stevens Diary facebook site. I was warned that this could happen so it’s come as no real surprise. It’s a feature of many forums, and even genuine sites like this have no defence. It was hoped that the setting up of this site would show some awareness of brain injury, it’s symptons, and the possibility of a miraculous recovery. Presumably these people and their loved ones are immune to such a problem. Why these people join, or be invited to join, I have no idea. The actions of the few will not undo the efforts of the many. Fortunately there are plenty more decent supporters out there. I will tell Steven this when he’s recovered, in the meantime I’ll just ignore them for the ignorant, selfish vermin they are.
Best regards Terry

30th April 2011

Hiya,
Well, after a brilliant weekend, there had to be a fall, and it came from the hospital food police!!. This blog is read by one of Steven’s doctors, and she took exception to him having steak, and orange drinks. The result was notices placed around the hospital, warning patients and their carers of the dangers of choking amongst brain damaged people. Unbeknown to us, other people here are using the hospital microwaves to prepare food owing to the apparent displeasure of the hospital food. Presumably my blog and Steven’s honesty brought the issue out into the open. We were of course spoken to by the doctor, and although she had a most valid point, she failed to understand that the food we’ve been giving Steven is of the same consistency as hospital food, and in many cases an improvement. For example, at least the steak was fresh, and medium rare, and cut to small portions, a big difference to hospital fish steak with all manner of miniscule bones, but very similar to a hospital beefburger. We listened to the doctor, and will continue to allow Steven to have hospital type food on outside visits, and hopefully she will have confidence in us to look after Steven, as we have much confidence in her staff here. When I compare previous postings with recent ones, it’s plainly obvious that whatever the staff here are doing, it’s working in every respect. They have been nothing short of remarkable. Steven’s biggest problem now is his mental state, which can only be controlled by medicines, and encouragement from staff, us, and his many supporters. Steven is not experiencing as much pain as he has had in the past, from his left arm, and left leg. He can now raise his left arm over his head, and he has real strength in his left hand grip. There is small movement in his left ankle, but he still has a lot of pain in his left foot. He has continued to make progress walking, with assistance.
Steven very depressed Friday night and Saturday morning, caused apparently by us looking after him. This makes him so upset, full-on crying, and saying it’s all his fault. Saturday morning it continued, to the point that for the first time for a long time, he wished that there had been a different, but final, outcome to the accident, and that he’d had enough. Pauline and I tried to concentrate his mind to his previous successful efforts at walking, and other improvements, but that didn’t work. Saturday he was upset that I was shaving him, and he felt useless at not being able to do it himself. Again we tried to tell him that this will happen in time, but he wants to be better now, so that we can all get our lives back. He feels upset at us doing everything for him, everything is his fault. Of course it isn’t his fault, it’s the fault of the low-life that did this, and even a nurse couldn’t persuade him to think different. We were within seconds of giving him a tranquiliser when he finally calmed down. This was a marked difference to last weekend.
Good and bad yet again!!
Best regards Terry