13th August 2012

Hiya Another mixed bag of good and bad news. Steven has been able to squat down from a standing position and return, without holding any support. Further, he was able to walk forward, do a 360deg' turn on his right foot and continue walking, without stopping and without support. Another day whilst waiting at a lift, a lot of people came out. Now normally Steven would stand still and let the people walk past him, but this day he immediately stepped sideways to his left. The move was automatic and not planned. These actions may seem small to some people, but to us and Steven it's massive. Amongst this we had another minor crisis when Steven felt really out of sorts, not eating, not sleeping, bad dreams, dry mouth, and irritable. It was Steven himself who suspected the cause was his current set of medication, and when I read the adverse reactions, they were nearly all there. So we/he stopped taking them and within two days he was back to a more natural state. The hospital however said that it was all in Steven's mind. This annoys Steven because he then thinks he's going crazy. Yet again we await a meeting to settle this. Whatever happens he is determined not to have any more pills and do his best to put up with any pain. One worrying feature that's reared it's head is that Steven is beginning to worry about his future, especially in relation to our health. We've had to convince Steven that this is normal within any family, because no-one knows what's going to happen tomorrow. This also came at a time when a friend of ours out here sadly passed away very unexpectedly. It's at these times when we can't make our mind up whether Steven is more intelligent, or as he says, he's aware of how precious life is and he is just more grown up. Best regards Terry

30th July 2012

Hiya Life for us is getting more manageable and easier. Whereas before we were busy, or had to be prepared to be busy, 24hrs a day, life is much simpler due to the fewer hospital appointments. Roughly our days start at 7.45am when I have to make sure Steven is awake. He has to be at the hospital for 9am, but we never know how long he'll be there, it can be anytime between 11am and 1pm, so there's little we can do in that time. Also whenever we see Steven we never know what mood he's going to be in. He has a few mental issues, in that he gets stressed and upset very easily, but he hasn't been really upset now for about a month or so. Also, we, nor he, knows what his pain level is going to be, and that depends on his sleep, his household chores, and what they do to him in physio'. Usually now, that's it, our afternoons and evenings are generally free, but we always have to be at close call for any problems. He's doing so well at looking after himself in his own house, cooking cleaning etc. But sometimes he may drop something, and we then have to convince him that we all drop things and it's not his brain damage. He's gradually growing up and becoming the young man he wants to be. It's been very strange watching him grow from babyhood again, difficult to believe but that's what it's been like. He's had crying sessions, tantrums, awkward teenager times. But now he's growing mentally, and the problem there is, that he knows how he used to be and it's upsetting him trying to be that young man again, and it may not happen, but my goodness you should see him try. His stay at the spa was a treat for himself. He took advantage of all the treatments available, full body showers, body and/or foot and/or head massage, a la carte food, and cost a bomb, but it was so much worth it. He will do it again but probably as a day treatment guest. We try to go out for meals with Steven to his favourite restaurants, this gets him used to going out and meeting/talking to different people. One particular night we went into town for a meal, as we did so he walked past many of his old haunts, and he "bumped" into over 20people who knew and worked with him. Their reactions to him were amazing, all knowing what had happened to him. It did give him a tremendous boost. But he does get stressed when there's too many people about, especially shopping. He has to be careful now that he doesn't use a walking stick, because when people see him they see a fit young man, walking slowly, with no obvious damage. He still has problems with change of direction and his balance. So we have to walk in a way that tries to protect him. The physio' team are really helping him with new exercises, especially for his left foot. He is now able to move his foot, slightly, in all directions, this making his walk much more natural. Still slow but improving. But this is beginning to make us wonder about the many opinions we've received from different doctors, whether to remove the foot, change tendons over, operate on the ankle to make it rigid. But with his determination and the physio' things are improving. He has had another session of acupuncture, this time 24 needles. He swears that it's making a difference to his pain level and mobility. He will have more sessions, and then hopefully he won't need many more. We are now in possession of all Steven's hospital records from immediately after the accident. Over 40pages of medical reports over a period of just a few days. The conclusion at that time was that his recovery was "improbable". Well he's proved them wrong. There are also over 2,500 x-rays and CAT scans showing incredible damage to his body. He and we have seen the breaks in his neck, ribs, hip joint, pelvis, and leg, the bleeding in his liver, and the bleeding in the brain. The damage is frightening to see, particularly the pelvis and brain. But what these records do show, is that, even though the outcome was doubtful, the hospital staff did everything in their power to "fix" him, and obviously we will be forever grateful. best regards Terry

14th July 2012

Hiya, Monday evening Steven had a revision of his problems and the treatment being given especially in relation to the amount of pain he is in. After this he had an acupuncture session, where 20 needles were put on his neck, back, wrists, elbow, forehead, shins and feet. He only painfully felt one pin in his back, and one near his toes, apart from those he never felt a thing. Almost immediately he began to feel different. He was able to move his head side to side for the first time for months, and other pains were reduced. His frowning stopped and he looked fresher in his face. Overall he was pleased after the 2 hour session, at the end of which the needles just began to fall out on their own, weird. He has another session in two weeks time. This morning he was fine, having had an excellent sleep. It was obviously worth trying, and we will continue to do what we can to investigate any means of treatment. Steven has had a good relatively pain free week, however this has allowed the physio' team to put him through extra exercises which creates their own pain, he can't win!!. His whole demeanour has changed this week, a combination of good food, the acupuncture, and the physio'. The physio' psychiatry team are also talking to him, and this has brought on new problems. When this hospital initially saw Steven's doctor's reports, they said that if they hadn't seen Steven and just relied on the reports they wouldn't have considered treating him. I think that this has brought more challenges to the hospital staff them having never been able to speak to someone who has had such catastrophic brain injuries and survived. Steven has been able to explain what he felt and experienced whilst in his coma and in PTA. This is confusing the staff and are taking literally everything that Steven says, or not understanding him at all. There's no doubt that Steven has become more intelligent, whether that's as a result of the injury, or being around intelligent people (I don't mean us I mean doctors etc in team meetings) I don't know. Steven speaks eloquently and beautifully about his experiences. This week he tried to explain that even now he still feels "wooden". It's as though his body doesn't belong to him. He knows what he has to do but has to tell his body what to do. The hospital just cannot understand this and it's causing confusion and stress for Steven. Steven explains it in this manner. If for example he needs to open a bottle he knows that the procedure is to hold the bottle with one hand, and the bottle top with the other, he then has to twist the bottle and top in different directions, using the correct amount of strength to do so. To everyone else this is simple and is as easy as going from A to B. However, Steven's brain has to tell the body to go to C then D then E then F then G before reaching B. Everything he does is the same, he knows what to do but everything is much slower due to the route that the brain takes to get the job done. This applies to speaking, walking, everything. This is particularly frustrating to Steven when it comes to speaking. Before the accident he could, for example, listen to Spanish music or speech and instantly translate that to English. Now, he can still translate, but it's not immediate. Also when speaking Spanish he no longer has the Spanish accent, he speaks Spanish as an English person. It's the same with the English language. In Spanish, every letter in each word is pronounced, you cannot do this with the English language because there are so many English words with unneccesary silent letters, and this is now confusing Steven. To us it's as though Steven is reliving a childhood, and is learning and growing in every respect, but whereas a child has never done these things before, he has, and that's the confusion. Steven has explained to the staff that whilst in his coma he saw "God". Steven is not religious in any way, but when in his coma, he saw a man with a long white beard and long white hair approach him and be very close to him. In not a religious way at all he could only think that he saw the popular image of God. What happened was, during the night of 6th January, one of the Three Kings in popular Spanish culture visited the patients at the hospital in way that Father Christmas visits English hospitals. One of these Three Kings is black, and Steven gave the staff that King's name by mistake, which the staff immediately thought that Steven's God was black. This created so much confusion to the point of upsetting Steven. He was able to explain it correctly, but we fear now that incorrect facts have been written about him in his hospital file, which I must address. It's frightening to think what people in comas could be experiencing. Steven was able to see, hear, and think, but was unable to do anything about what he was experiencing. Steven is living proof that family and friends, and even hospital staff must be aware that coma patients are indeed very much aware of their surroundings. This weekend Steven and us have confident enough to allow Steven to have 3 days at a local Hotel and Spa. Hopefully this will give him extra confidence. He will be in his own room with a different view, eating top quality food, and having all manner of treatments including jacuzzi, hot and cold baths, and massages, all in a tranquil atmosphere. He's only a few miles away and we can be there in 15 minutes if he needs us. best regards Terry

5th July 2012

Hiya, the depression continues, although it seems to be reducing, or hidden away for a while. There's no doubt that it all stems from another birthday. This then brings back memories of how he celebrated his birthday with beach party and fireworks with friends. It's summertime and there are so many people out there enjoying themselves, but he can't join in, though he does enjoy looking at the scantily dressed young ladies. He's also receiving a lot of psychiatric help. He's being told to forget the past and concentrate on the future. He's been told that the past has gone, and he may never be like he was. In other words he has to accept what's happened and adapt. Of course this is so difficult, for him and for us, we've seen a young man in the prime of his life cut down to how he is now. Steven is happy to continue working hard to regain his strength, but all he is being told is that he will do this one day. If he could be given a specific day he would be happy, he just doesn't know when that day will be. Believe me he is working hard, we see his face every single day, and see the amount of effort he puts in. Wednesday he was told by the physio' team to put away his walking stick. He tried this before but it didn't work, maybe that was too early. So he's trying again. Without the stick he does walk a little faster, but this will then create muscle pain as he exercises more. As a reminder he still has to "tell" every part of his body what to do. It's not just a matter of walking, he has to "tell" his arms, shoulders, legs, feet, everything how to move. The idea is that once he does more, the body will re-learn what to do. Whilst walking he cannot look around or else he loses concentration, he has to look at the ground immediately in front of him. Without the stick it will be even more difficult, because people approaching him from any direction will have no idea of the problems he's facing. It's almost as if he'll need a poster round his neck due to the no obvious signs of injury. Pain killing medicines seem to have little effect, so next Monday he's commencing a course of acupuncture. Thank you for all your support. We have just received word of Ian Wykes' fund rasing activity climbing to Mount Everest Base Camp, and Steven was genuinely overwhelmed at the response especially from total strangers who were customers of Body Shop, thank you. best regards Terry

25th June 2012

180612 After all the successes of the last few weeks etc, I thought I'd tell you about one day this week. Firstly, after I had 'phoned Steven to wake him, he then lay-in, only to be woken by me knocking at his door. Having so harshly been woken up, he's half asleep, which makes him slower than normal. That's slower in his speech and walking, this then depresses him. I took him, late, to his physio', where he apologized and was rightly told "it happens". As I keep telling him, you don't need to have brain damage to forget something, or drop something, lose something, or lie-in, but despite all this he thinks it's his brain damage that causes this. I try to tell him it's normal, but it's difficult for him to see it like that. After picking him up an hour or so later, we go for his usual coffee with Baileys. By now his mood has brightened until he smiled and I saw some green in his teeth. He couldn't get it out, so I did and showed him. It was a huge piece of spinach from the previous night's pizza. This really upset him, knowing that people at the hospital would have seen this and not told him. He became depressed again, despite me saying that everyone makes silly mistakes. We then went shopping for odds and ends, and he saw a new ice-cream he wanted to try, so I said go for it, no problem treat yourself. In the middle of the large supermarket he just broke down in tears. I tried to make light of it but it's so hard. He really does try so hard and for the life of me I cannot see how he keeps going on, trying to be so positive against what seems to be insurmountable problems. 210612 I hope that this describes the amount of anger that I have towards the taxi insurance. Steven was very upset after he received a telephone call from the insurers asking to see him at Alicante the following day, i.e. without any adequate notice, so much so that the nurse at physiotherapy had to stop his treatment. I can understand insurers wanting to see Steven in the early days and a couple of weeks ago to check his progress, but why now so soon? Did the insurers honestly expect to see Steven come running up the stairs as if by some divine providence that he has been totally cured? The insurers have access to all of Steven's hospital and Doctor's reports. The insurers have seen Steven. The insurers can easily telephone San Jaime Hospital. Steven cannot hide his condition, we know any recovery will take a long time, so why the continual requests to see him, do they not trust the Doctor's reports and the evidence of their own eyes? We are all very angry and upset. 250612 The last week has been quite emotional. Steven has been told by the hospital staff that it is time for him to accept that he may never be the same as he was. Steven does actually know this because we've discussed it at length, but he doesn't like to face the truth. As he says, it hurts him to think how he was, and how he is now through no fault of his own. We've covered this so many times before, but it's hard for him to accept, and causes deep depression. On top of all that, this week he's had to contend with, what to him, has always been an important week in the past. This week in Spain is the festival of San Juan, and this involves lots of burning of incredibly made statues, bbq's on the beach, bonfires on the beach, jumping over the fires, lots of noise, dancing in a party atmosphere, and an amazing firework display. And all this happens on the Eve of his birthday. He cannot be in large crowds of people, he cannot walk or stand on the beach, he cannot stand for long periods, and despite an offer from friends to carry him to the beach he felt he could not demean himself to take the offer. It got to the point where he had a full-on breakdown. He's aware that everyone else has there own lives to live, but he feels very much alone. This is a constant worry for us as he spends more and more time on his own attempting to take care of himself, and we have to accept him when he says he has these outbreaks when on his own but not very often. We constantly reassure him that we're only a short distance from him at any time of day and night. Last year on his first release from hospital, to use his description, that wasn't him, and he didn't care about the festival, this year he has a lot of memory returning, and is gradually becoming "Steven", and so was deeply upsetting. As he says, he knows that getting better is going to take a long time, but he doesn't know how long, if he did, life would become much easier, because at the moment it's just going on and on with no real visible change. We too have to accept how Steven is, and it's equally bad and upsetting for us but we haven't got the accompanying pain that Steven has. His physiotherapy continues on all areas including speech therapy, psychiatry, and manipulation and massage. Best regards Terry

15th June 2012

Hiya, an excellent week all round. The physiotherapy is working wonders. What Steven does like is the amount of information he is receiving from the staff. Most of it is frightening and worrying, but the fact that he has, and continues to, beat all expectations is very satisfying. Apparently his brain injury was really extensive. We were never told the full circumstances, unless we were told, and we received the information in a daze as to the realisation of what had happened to him. The whole of his brain was shook violently in every direction, creating lesions in all parts, numerous nerves severed, and there was blood everywhere in the skull and brain. It was only the swift reactions of the Police attending the scene which allowed blood with it's life giving oxygen to flow, that prevented the damage and result being much worse. Fortunately Steven has spoken to the first Police Officer and expressed his sincere thanks, as have we. Steven has been told that most if not all of his problems are the result of all that time of relative inactivity, his muscles have forgotten what to do. With the the help of the physiotherapy team, he has to exercise and retrain his brain and body. Today, for the first time, he actually moved his toes on his left foot. This may not sound a big deal, but this shows that "messages" from the brain are reaching the toes, and he can make them move. This shows that either the nerves were not cut, or they have healed or have been re-routed. Either way it shows that he has feeling from head to toe, thus giving him and us a tremendous boost. He is beginning to feel pain in all his body, but this isn't from the accident, but from the amount of exercise he is doing, as would anyone who hasn't exercised for a while. He's walking with more confidence, but still slow, and he's still wary of surface changes or other people. His hand/eye reactions are getting better, and due to stomach exercises and "tapping" techniques, his talking is improving. On the down side, we are still incredibly upset that this should have happened. We know he's improving slowly and we're thankful for that, but it still hurts to see a fit, strong young man, who had a job and girlfriend, reduced to this. Every time he walks, moves, talks, or even sits, we have to stop ourselves crying. His life has been turned upside down from doing the right thing of hiring a taxi when too drunk to ride his motorbike. It hurts us to see that he hasn't got the comfort of a girlfriend, or doing the things that a man of his age should be doing, drinking, dancing, and enjoying life. We just have to hide this and hope he gets his life back soon. Best regards Terry

7th June 2012

Hiya, Steven attended hospital for his EMG but the test was so painful that it had to be cancelled. We had researched the procedure on the internet beforehand, and he anticipated mild discomfort, but this test was far too painful even for him. Steven has endured an incredible amount of pain, and there's a feeling that the machine was set up wrong, but we'll obviously never know. Steven had a multitude of tests at the private rehabilitation unit, and it seems likely that he will continue his treatment there. He was told that if the staff had only read the hospital reports, and not actually seen Steven, they would not have offered any treatment at all. They also said that Steven had done all the hard work, and they were there to hopefully finish the job. As a result of these meetings Steven and us, felt really positive about the future outcome. The treatment will include physiotherapy (both muscular and mental), speech therapy, occupational therapy, and if necessary operation(s). It is further believed that a lot of Steven’s pain and problems are as a result of lack of correct use of all of his muscles, and maybe intense physiotherapy will avoid the need for further operations. The new regime will be extensive. Instead of turning up at NHS for 2 hours every day and only being seen for 15 to 30mins, this is going to be full-on one to one, twice a week for 3 hours, and three times a week for 2 hours. The new team have a deep respect for what Steven has achieved, and have told him for the first time, (though we knew) that his brain injury was extensive, and he should not have survived, and certainly should not be talking. Basically he has re-written the medical books. Steven is handling all this in his stride, but the thing that annoys him, and us, the most, is the total lack of understanding and compassion from the likes of insurance and social security where it seems he is just a number. On Wednesday 30th May, with Steven, we attended the offices of Mapfre (the taxi’s insurance) at Alicante. As before, there was no compassion, or obvious understanding of Steven’s condition. When Steven told the doctor that he was worried about his future, explaining that he wanted to play games with any future children, he was told that he was thinking too much about the situation. We wonder how the doctor would have felt if she was in a similar position and unable to hold or play with any of her children or grandchildren. This deeply upset Steven. Why is it, that no one can see how this horrific accident has affected Steven? Steven has not only suffered many physical injuries, but has many psychological issues also, and this may take a long time, if ever, to disappear. This seems to be the norm, one moment Steven is full of positivity, the next he’s knocked down. We’ve had to fight hard for everything for Steven, even now the Social Security and insurance are so slow in their assessments of him. It’s as though no-one believes the reports of other department’s doctors. For goodness sake, he died several times, he was in a coma for months, he had a leg almost severed, he’s had a hip replacement, he’s had an operation on his elbow, he has proven brain damage, and all manner of scans can show what happened to his body. What information do these people actually want? Do they think he’s going to act perfectly normal tomorrow? His first week at the new physiotherapy unit (USP San Jaime Hospital) has worked wonders. There is no down-time for Steven, he goes from one treatment to the next. He has regular speech therapy, he has massage on his stomach, leg, and back, even having hot mud packs applied to his back. It’s tiring for him, but we can see very small differences in attitude and in his posture. The stomach massage is relieving the muscles around his diaphragm and this will help him breathe and speak. Basically the centre two muscles of his “six pack” are not being used, this massage will help. The staff are explaining in simple terms what has happened to his body, an incredibly professional and caring attitude being shown by them. Best regards Terry