22nd July 2011

Hiya, the insurance doctor came to see Steven again as she does on regular monthly visits. All she seems to be interested in is reducing any payout of monies from the taxi insurance company. She doesn’t want to learn the truth of Steven’s injuries. Yes he’s getting better, but she doesn’t take into account the pain, the psychological trauma, the inconvenience to him and us, his embarrassment, his and our workload. Nothing!!! She says Steven can walk, but she doesn’t say he can walk only with assistance, either personal or mechanical. She says Steven can talk, but she doesn’t say that it’s with difficulty due to jaw damage. She seems not to care about Steven’s difficulty in grasping social and emotional issues. She doesn’t care about the awful scar on his left leg. She doesn’t seem to care that Steven has difficulty controlling his hands, sometimes he appears clumsy. She doesn’t realise that he gets nervous very easily, and visibly shakes when in public situations. She doesn’t want to know about the fact that Steven has difficulty regulating his own body temperature. Has she forgotten that Steven suffered horrendous brain damage and he has had to be almost re-born. Steven has had to re-learn everything. She has no feeling whatsoever for Steven’s feelings. There seems to be no thought for Steven’s long term future, whether it’s extra pain, extra health problems, or whether he’ll need help at home as time goes on. Steven will probably need a lot of money for his future, there is no guarantee that he will be able to work or obtain a pension in this current crisis. There seems to be no thought to our feelings, our work, our expenses. We are so angry that this situation has been forced on us. We suspect that Steven will only be given a certain amount of money, but believe me, whatever he receives, it will not be enough, and the more angry we get, the more money we want for him, especially when we seem to have no sympathy towards his situation. We are constantly contacting our solicitor to give him our feelings, we are Steven’s representatives and we have to take care of him and will push for what we believe he’s entitled to.
This is getting better, another good week for Steven. The physio’ staff now have the confidence to allow Steven to walk more and more on his own. Always under supervision but with no personal or mechanical aids, except for the vital ankle and foot supports. These are proving to be a boon, giving Steven more and more confidence himself as if he needed more. Steven now only uses the wheelchair for long outdoor excursions, otherwise it’s just the walking frame. His speech is occasionally a little slurred due to his difficulty in opening his mouth properly when talking. When yawning he opens his mouth wide, but when talking it’s different. Steven still tends to have social issues, in that he has little concept of time, or has the attitude “what’s the rush”, when we are waiting for him to do something or go somewhere. He doesn’t take any sort of criticism easily, so we have to be careful of what we say. He has a small appetite for hospital food and won’t eat extra food which could be provided by us, but when out for the weekend he eats well. Otherwise everything is coming along slowly but surely. We had another weekend at home. No problems with the journey. We had meals out with friends, and he saw his own friends. Returning to the hospital Sunday, we went to Benidorm where we met up with Paul. Also there by pure chance was our good friend, and as she says “our substitute daughter”, was Jane Heneghan with husband Paddy. Jane has been a loyal supporter of Steven in many ways, even though she hasn’t seen him for over 10yrs. A lovely reunion. After a drink or two, Paul took Steven back to the rented house and the hospital, whilst Pauline and I had a few days on our own back at home. Hardly a rest though, many jobs have piled up in our absence, but a rest it was. On Tuesday 19th we received the news by ‘phone from Paul, that Steven’s doctors are delighted with his progress and are considering allowing him home permanently, and to go to a local hospital as an out-patient. This is excellent news. Although these weekends at home are most welcome, and important to bring normality back into all our lives, they do make life complicated. For just over 7months we have lived between our rented house and the hospital room, taking it in turns to care for Steven. Whilst doing this we have to constantly plan ahead in all manner of things. Often things are in the wrong place when needed such as ‘phone chargers, clothes, cosmetics, documents, medicines etc. We never know when the mobile ‘phone will need charging, and we never know when someone is going to contact us regarding some aspect of our lives. If clothes get dirty, we need a spare set in both places. If we get a headache we need the paracetamol. Now that we’re coming home regularly, we now have a third place to consider. It certainly makes life interesting!!
Best regards Terry

12th July 2011

An excellent week for Steven. Small but noticeable improvements in all areas. He no longer uses the wheelchair within the confines of the hospital, using a walking frame instead to go from his room to physio’. He is successfully negotiating stairs, up and down. He is walking on his own, slowly but surely, including walking with his hands clasped behind his back to prove that he has balance. Sometimes his walking is quite fluid and natural, other times he can be clumsy, this depending on his level of pain, and how tired he is. He now has two supports on his left foot. One which supports and protects his left ankle, preventing the ankle from turning inward, the other a system of Velcro straps which makes his left foot adopt the correct angles when walking. Both supports are uncomfortable and cause a fair amount of irritation, especially in the heat we’re experiencing at the moment. Obviously whenever we see these improvements we offer encouragement, but he doesn’t need that, he’s so determined to do this. Swimming is still a problem. Formerly a competent swimmer, he now struggles in his actions, and in his breathing. His left arm has suddenly become straighter, whether this is from his limited swimming action we don’t know, but it’s certainly better. However he still cannot fully bend his left arm. Steven is now using his laptop on a regular basis, and is quite proficient in it’s use, showing improvement in manual dexterity, and in the way his mind is working. Steven was in a very reflective mood last week. He’s mentioned before that he feels that he doesn’t own the body he has. This time he was talking about how he is learning to discover people. He’s suddenly realised, with much surprise, that there are as many fake people as good people, and he has to learn who he can trust in the future. Although not making plans, he insists that he is going to start his second life, and will concentrate on himself in the short term. He is still prone to being upset when mildly admonished, so we try our best not to tell him what to do, or even tell him if he does something wrong, but just ignore his failings. On Friday 8th July, we again returned home for the weekend. No problems during the journey for Steven or his dog. After a full English breakfast en route, I took Steven into town to meet a good friend Veronica Lozano. I sat in the background whilst they chatted and laughed, it was good to see. Friday evening we all went to Alan’s Bar, where we saw Lyndsey Madden and Javi Seva. For Javi this was very emotional, as the last time he saw Steven was in the first few weeks of his coma. Steven and Javi were inconsolable, but so happy. They have known each other for over 20yrs, Javi seeing Steven grow up. Many others at the bar came to Steven to congratulate him on his recovery progress. Saturday evening I took Steven to the O Zone area for him to speak with Kelly Dintino(me in the background again), and then later with another friend Irene Duncan we went to Steven’s old restaurant Pizza Nostra in town. In town he met up with a walking/running friend Jose, who was so pleased to see him, and then he saw an old friend Pete, a regular reader of this blog, he too was pleased to see him. After an excellent meal, we went to Bar Cinco Lobitos, a favourite haunt of Steven’s to see the owner, Ramon, friends for 12 yrs. An excellent night, very emotional, but Steven handled it all very well. Sunday lunchtime, Irene joined us again for a meal and relax around the pool. Then it was the long journey home, this time without incident. Steven goes very quiet after his weekends away, and it just may be that he sees people his age enjoying themselves, and he cannot yet join in. Also he knows he’s going back to the pain and discomfort of physio’, and though he hates the expression “poco y poco” he knows that it’s true. We have to keep reminding him of how he was just a few short weeks ago. We are considering letting him read his blog just to show him how far he’s come along this road to full recovery, but I want him to tell me of his dreams when in a coma, so that we can tell him whether they were real or not. We’ll see.
Best regards Terry

3rd July 2011

Not sure these weekends out are good for Steven. During the week he's been down and depressed, not helped by being told that he may have done too much the previous weekend. Too much walking, too much time in the pool, too many people, wrong foods. We can understand the hospital being careful, but people are different, and they all act and react differently to all kinds of stresses. Steven wants to work, he's determined, he wants to get better, and we're not going to jeopardise that in any way. We are the ones constantly supervising Steven, we are the ones who should be spoken to, and we've told the doctors this. We do what the doctors say and just bend the rules a little. As an example if the doctors say walk 50metres, Steven will walk 70. Steven has to get out there to meet people, to give him hope that he will be able to join them equally one day. We can't just wrap him in bubblewrap. There are people in the hospital who, due to Steven's improvements, are now much worse than him, a few are overweight, many cannot do what Steven can now do, surely the protocols cannot be the same for everyone. For the first time Steven showed his anger and/or frustration to his doctor and she was surprised. Whether this will enable her to change his routine we'll soon find out. This weekend Steven was given permission to leave the hospital for the weekend. We stayed in our rented house within sight of the hospital, due to it being Paul's birthday and if we went home we wouldn't be able to celebrate it with him. Friday evening we stayed at the house with a takeaway Chinese, and Steven using his laptop for the first time. Saturday morning he had a quiet day with no routine, and just gentle exercise. Saturday afternoon we went to Javea to meet up with Paul at chiringito, and drank mojitos watching the sea, although Steven had to make do with a coke. From there we went to the Arenal area of Javea for a bar meal in a popular area, followed by a drink in another bar where thre was an excellent singer Adam King. This Adam has also been involved in an accident where he broke his back, but he is now fine, and he did offer encouragement to Steven. It was here that Steven became depressed again. It must be hard for him to be like this, so close to being better. He just wants it to end, he's fed up and he's had enough, and he wants it all to end. He sees all these young people having fun and he can't even walk properly let alone join in. He feels that people are watching him trying to see what's the matter with him and may be picking up the wrong signals, them not realising what he's gone through. I mean, he can't walk around with a sign saying "I died 5 times" can he? It was a very tearful and emotional moment. But we've run out of words. What can we say that hasn't been said before. He knows he's getting better. He knows he has the support of all you people and us. Do the words become meaningless, only time will tell.
Best regards Terry

29th June 2011

I returned to the hospital from home, Thursday, 23rd, to collect Steven to take him home for the first time, just happening to coincide with his birthday on 25th. WE had a good journey except for the last 5kms of a 200kms journey when he felt motion sickness, not surprising really, being so long without going for long journeys. It was emotional for him to see the house. He walked from the car to the house, and walked around the house in relative comfort, using as many handholds as he could. We had a very full weekend of activities. Briefly:- people jumping over fires on the local beaches; grand firework display accompanied by music; stroll around town; proper haircut for the first time for 8months; hugs and kisses from people coming out of shops when they saw him; meal at his favourite restaurant, and where he used to work, meeting many staff from that and other nearby restaurants, many of them moved to tears; meeting of friends, one who had seen him in his coma, at yet another restaurant; a full chill-out day for his birthday receiving messages from friends; barbecue at a friend’s house, who had also seen him in the early days; 10metre tracker firework; visit to Sacko’s bar for a mini-party, well wishers, music, 20metre tracker firework, cake in the shape of crash test dummies; visit at home from Eddie and Alex from FCTF fan club, bringing with them monies collected from many sources; visit to Los Frutales Sports bar for Steven to meet up with many of his friends, many who had seen him in the coma stage, another 10metre tracker firework; visit to the last bar he worked in, Legends, again to see colleagues who saw him in his coma; dip in the pool at home; visit by a friend who had a similar accident several years ago and who was told he’d never walk again, well he did, and he’s an inspiration to Steven; then the long drive back to the hospital which was interrupted by a traffic jam for an earlier accident.
The whole weekend was brilliant in all respects. Except for Steven feeling a little overwhelmed by the crowds at the fireworks on the beach, he coped admirably with everything. He only used his wheelchair for short periods, mainly doing his best to walk just holding hands. Thank you to all his friends for making him feel comfortable and welcome. At times it was very emotional for all concerned, after all, it was last November when I was ‘phoning family and friends to say we were going to lose Steven, and we didn’t expect to celebrate this birthday, but he’s proved that with a lot of care and determination, he’s going to recover fully.
Steven and us must give our thanks to everyone from this site and from the FCTF for the monies collected. I have told him every message, card, and gift, received of support for him from everyone. It makes us marvel that such wonderful people are out there caring for someone who in many respects is a total stranger. But these people are no longer strangers but friends. Steven and us can only offer our grateful thanks. Steven will use the monies to buy a television for his bedroom, and a good quality laptop case. Both will help in his recuperation. Once again THANK YOU.
From Monday, Steven was a little depressed, probably thinking of the weekend. He knows he’s in the best place, and hopefully the weeks will seem shorter now, because we are going to try to go home more often.
Best regards Terry

23rd June 2011

Last weekend Pauline and I took Steven into Alzira for a change of scenery. After visiting a bar for an essential "Pepito de casa" of bacon and cheese, we went for a trip around the town. For a modern town we were disappointed at the state of awareness for wheelchair users. Very few ramps at road junctions, and deep kerbs. We of course managed with just a little discomfort for Steven. After another visit to bar for a coke we returned home, where Steven had some time with his dog. It's good to see them being re-aquainted. We have been given permission for Steven to return home for the following weekend (starts today Thursday 23rd). So Pauline and I made the decision to return home with the dog, and prepare the house. We had 3 days at home hopefully making it wheelchair friendly, and the pool cleaned. Steven in the meantime has worked really hard to walk properly. He's been instructed to walk a little faster, and to swing his arms as normal. He does this but is nervous in doing so. He finds it difficult to maintain his balance, but as we keep saying, he's determined to get better. He's been in the hospital pool again, floated a little better. The physio's are continuing to be pleased with his progress, especially one who has returned from a long leave of absence and seen his difference. Steven is looking forward to his weekend with excitement and apprehension. We have a few schemes in mind, but the main party will be when he returns home for good.
Best regards
Terry

16th June 2011

Hiya,
another good few days. Steven has a new ankle support which is a system of elasticated straps and velcro, and this helps the front of the foot to lift, hopefully to prevent flat footed walking. It's difficult for him to get used to, but he's a trier. The walking is improving in stages. At the moment he's walking a little flat-footed, almost a shuffle, and with his left leg taking a longer stride than his right leg. This is because he's had a heavy plastic orthopaedic boot on his left leg for such a long time. This action causes him to move towards the right, and not in a straight line requiring much adjustment. He's also walking slow, because he's having to "tell" all his body bits to move. He's been told to try to walk faster so that he hasn't got time to think and "tell" the legs to move. He's tried this for short periods and it does work. Sometimes he just glides, and it's brilliant. He's also climbing steps, that's enabled him to visit us at our rented house. We continue to let him have time out of the hospital, shops, cafes, etc, but he doesn't like people staring at him. Wednesday afternoon when Paul went to collect Steven from physio', he was called to the physio' dept' by all the other carers, to see Steven walking with a tripod walker. This is the first time Paul had seen Steven walking independantly. Earlier Steven said he'd been walking with no aids, just leaning with one hand on the wall. The walking is improving faster than anticipated, but there's a possibility he'll need new orthopaedic items to help him, and/or an operation on his left foot. That evening he came down to the house with Paul, he sat in an armchair, and played on Paul's Playstation 3. He was able to use the hand controls with some ease. His talking is improving, sounding more like the old Steven. After a pizza and garlic bread, he returned to the hospital room. Today Thursday he was in the hospital swimming pool, and again tried to swim, the crawl stroke, but his legs sink. But a little better than last week. There is still a sense of depression mainly due to sheer frustration. He knows he's slowly getting better but it's not fast enough for him, and he wants to be out of here, now. So we're having to rein him in and slow him down a little. He still hasn't been taught to shave, shower, or climb steps, but he's doing all these things with great care and under constant observation by us.
best regards
Terry

9th June 2011

Hiya,an excellent week. Several improvements. Last Friday evening, Steven walked 200metres with the aid of a walking frame, followed by an 80 metre walk just holding my hand. He seems to walk better when he goes at a faster pace, because he then hasn't got time to think about what he's doing. When he walks slow he's thinking about his toes, his ankle, his knees and his legs, "telling" each part to do it's bit. He has a tendency to have a longer pace with his left foot, probably due to the heavy boot he has to wear normally, but not when he’s using the frame. After this mini-marathon he had a shower, by himself, this giving him yet more, but small, independance. However the following day, he'd been bubbled by the shower police, and was admonished for having a shower without proper training. This is what is beginning to annoy us about this place. Despite all their wonderful work, they insist on slowing him down at every opportunity instead of giving him constructive criticism. He was then told off for shaving himself, despite the fact he's been doing this for over a month. Every new thing Steven does, is closely monitored by us, until we allow him to do things for himself. He takes great pride in doing everything he can, to get better, not wishing to be a burden on anyone, he just wants to get out of here for the right reasons, he has a life to live. After the shower, I took Steven in the car to our rented house, where he climbed 5 steps to the patio, to sit in a patio chair, and enjoy a coffee with us. He hasn't been taught to climb steps yet, we await the warning!! On our return to the hospital I was told off for not signing Steven out from the hospital, apparently a hanging offence if the 2 tellings off are to be believed. Saturday morning, after signing Steven out, we made a trip to Alzira for a walk around a superstore, before having a burger and coke at McDonalds, which we all thoroughly enjoyed. Sunday morning we all went to Corbera for a car boot sale. A relaxing walk round although at times it did get a little too crowded for the wheelchair. These trips out are so important, it gets Steven away from those 4 walls, gives him fresh air, and up to a point gives him some control on where he goes, and what he does. He's getting more confident with his speaking, the melodious tone is returning, but he still has a little difficulty moving his neck and jaw. Monday, Pauline and I had another 3 day break, leaving Steven in the very capable hands of Paul. They also went to McDonalds, as well as small trips around the hospital grounds. Steven continued to shower and shave despite what the hospital staff say. Wednesday evening Steven and Paul came down to join us at the rented house, and again Steven climbed the steps, this time with some ease. Thursday morning, today, Steven was in the swimming pool for the first time. He tried swimming but found it difficult to float, which is slightly important. Although Steven’s brain has been re-booted and re-formatted, he is unlikely to be able to breathe like a fish. He found it difficult to walk in the pool due to the action of the water forcing him to slightly lose his balance.
So, a good week. Lots of small trips, and life is getting a little easier for all of us. Steven continues to work with determination, and we will continue to encourage him to do so.
Best regards Terry