29th June 2011

I returned to the hospital from home, Thursday, 23rd, to collect Steven to take him home for the first time, just happening to coincide with his birthday on 25th. WE had a good journey except for the last 5kms of a 200kms journey when he felt motion sickness, not surprising really, being so long without going for long journeys. It was emotional for him to see the house. He walked from the car to the house, and walked around the house in relative comfort, using as many handholds as he could. We had a very full weekend of activities. Briefly:- people jumping over fires on the local beaches; grand firework display accompanied by music; stroll around town; proper haircut for the first time for 8months; hugs and kisses from people coming out of shops when they saw him; meal at his favourite restaurant, and where he used to work, meeting many staff from that and other nearby restaurants, many of them moved to tears; meeting of friends, one who had seen him in his coma, at yet another restaurant; a full chill-out day for his birthday receiving messages from friends; barbecue at a friend’s house, who had also seen him in the early days; 10metre tracker firework; visit to Sacko’s bar for a mini-party, well wishers, music, 20metre tracker firework, cake in the shape of crash test dummies; visit at home from Eddie and Alex from FCTF fan club, bringing with them monies collected from many sources; visit to Los Frutales Sports bar for Steven to meet up with many of his friends, many who had seen him in the coma stage, another 10metre tracker firework; visit to the last bar he worked in, Legends, again to see colleagues who saw him in his coma; dip in the pool at home; visit by a friend who had a similar accident several years ago and who was told he’d never walk again, well he did, and he’s an inspiration to Steven; then the long drive back to the hospital which was interrupted by a traffic jam for an earlier accident.
The whole weekend was brilliant in all respects. Except for Steven feeling a little overwhelmed by the crowds at the fireworks on the beach, he coped admirably with everything. He only used his wheelchair for short periods, mainly doing his best to walk just holding hands. Thank you to all his friends for making him feel comfortable and welcome. At times it was very emotional for all concerned, after all, it was last November when I was ‘phoning family and friends to say we were going to lose Steven, and we didn’t expect to celebrate this birthday, but he’s proved that with a lot of care and determination, he’s going to recover fully.
Steven and us must give our thanks to everyone from this site and from the FCTF for the monies collected. I have told him every message, card, and gift, received of support for him from everyone. It makes us marvel that such wonderful people are out there caring for someone who in many respects is a total stranger. But these people are no longer strangers but friends. Steven and us can only offer our grateful thanks. Steven will use the monies to buy a television for his bedroom, and a good quality laptop case. Both will help in his recuperation. Once again THANK YOU.
From Monday, Steven was a little depressed, probably thinking of the weekend. He knows he’s in the best place, and hopefully the weeks will seem shorter now, because we are going to try to go home more often.
Best regards Terry

23rd June 2011

Last weekend Pauline and I took Steven into Alzira for a change of scenery. After visiting a bar for an essential "Pepito de casa" of bacon and cheese, we went for a trip around the town. For a modern town we were disappointed at the state of awareness for wheelchair users. Very few ramps at road junctions, and deep kerbs. We of course managed with just a little discomfort for Steven. After another visit to bar for a coke we returned home, where Steven had some time with his dog. It's good to see them being re-aquainted. We have been given permission for Steven to return home for the following weekend (starts today Thursday 23rd). So Pauline and I made the decision to return home with the dog, and prepare the house. We had 3 days at home hopefully making it wheelchair friendly, and the pool cleaned. Steven in the meantime has worked really hard to walk properly. He's been instructed to walk a little faster, and to swing his arms as normal. He does this but is nervous in doing so. He finds it difficult to maintain his balance, but as we keep saying, he's determined to get better. He's been in the hospital pool again, floated a little better. The physio's are continuing to be pleased with his progress, especially one who has returned from a long leave of absence and seen his difference. Steven is looking forward to his weekend with excitement and apprehension. We have a few schemes in mind, but the main party will be when he returns home for good.
Best regards
Terry

16th June 2011

Hiya,
another good few days. Steven has a new ankle support which is a system of elasticated straps and velcro, and this helps the front of the foot to lift, hopefully to prevent flat footed walking. It's difficult for him to get used to, but he's a trier. The walking is improving in stages. At the moment he's walking a little flat-footed, almost a shuffle, and with his left leg taking a longer stride than his right leg. This is because he's had a heavy plastic orthopaedic boot on his left leg for such a long time. This action causes him to move towards the right, and not in a straight line requiring much adjustment. He's also walking slow, because he's having to "tell" all his body bits to move. He's been told to try to walk faster so that he hasn't got time to think and "tell" the legs to move. He's tried this for short periods and it does work. Sometimes he just glides, and it's brilliant. He's also climbing steps, that's enabled him to visit us at our rented house. We continue to let him have time out of the hospital, shops, cafes, etc, but he doesn't like people staring at him. Wednesday afternoon when Paul went to collect Steven from physio', he was called to the physio' dept' by all the other carers, to see Steven walking with a tripod walker. This is the first time Paul had seen Steven walking independantly. Earlier Steven said he'd been walking with no aids, just leaning with one hand on the wall. The walking is improving faster than anticipated, but there's a possibility he'll need new orthopaedic items to help him, and/or an operation on his left foot. That evening he came down to the house with Paul, he sat in an armchair, and played on Paul's Playstation 3. He was able to use the hand controls with some ease. His talking is improving, sounding more like the old Steven. After a pizza and garlic bread, he returned to the hospital room. Today Thursday he was in the hospital swimming pool, and again tried to swim, the crawl stroke, but his legs sink. But a little better than last week. There is still a sense of depression mainly due to sheer frustration. He knows he's slowly getting better but it's not fast enough for him, and he wants to be out of here, now. So we're having to rein him in and slow him down a little. He still hasn't been taught to shave, shower, or climb steps, but he's doing all these things with great care and under constant observation by us.
best regards
Terry

9th June 2011

Hiya,an excellent week. Several improvements. Last Friday evening, Steven walked 200metres with the aid of a walking frame, followed by an 80 metre walk just holding my hand. He seems to walk better when he goes at a faster pace, because he then hasn't got time to think about what he's doing. When he walks slow he's thinking about his toes, his ankle, his knees and his legs, "telling" each part to do it's bit. He has a tendency to have a longer pace with his left foot, probably due to the heavy boot he has to wear normally, but not when he’s using the frame. After this mini-marathon he had a shower, by himself, this giving him yet more, but small, independance. However the following day, he'd been bubbled by the shower police, and was admonished for having a shower without proper training. This is what is beginning to annoy us about this place. Despite all their wonderful work, they insist on slowing him down at every opportunity instead of giving him constructive criticism. He was then told off for shaving himself, despite the fact he's been doing this for over a month. Every new thing Steven does, is closely monitored by us, until we allow him to do things for himself. He takes great pride in doing everything he can, to get better, not wishing to be a burden on anyone, he just wants to get out of here for the right reasons, he has a life to live. After the shower, I took Steven in the car to our rented house, where he climbed 5 steps to the patio, to sit in a patio chair, and enjoy a coffee with us. He hasn't been taught to climb steps yet, we await the warning!! On our return to the hospital I was told off for not signing Steven out from the hospital, apparently a hanging offence if the 2 tellings off are to be believed. Saturday morning, after signing Steven out, we made a trip to Alzira for a walk around a superstore, before having a burger and coke at McDonalds, which we all thoroughly enjoyed. Sunday morning we all went to Corbera for a car boot sale. A relaxing walk round although at times it did get a little too crowded for the wheelchair. These trips out are so important, it gets Steven away from those 4 walls, gives him fresh air, and up to a point gives him some control on where he goes, and what he does. He's getting more confident with his speaking, the melodious tone is returning, but he still has a little difficulty moving his neck and jaw. Monday, Pauline and I had another 3 day break, leaving Steven in the very capable hands of Paul. They also went to McDonalds, as well as small trips around the hospital grounds. Steven continued to shower and shave despite what the hospital staff say. Wednesday evening Steven and Paul came down to join us at the rented house, and again Steven climbed the steps, this time with some ease. Thursday morning, today, Steven was in the swimming pool for the first time. He tried swimming but found it difficult to float, which is slightly important. Although Steven’s brain has been re-booted and re-formatted, he is unlikely to be able to breathe like a fish. He found it difficult to walk in the pool due to the action of the water forcing him to slightly lose his balance.
So, a good week. Lots of small trips, and life is getting a little easier for all of us. Steven continues to work with determination, and we will continue to encourage him to do so.
Best regards Terry

28th May 2011

Hiya,
we think our work starts now. We're having a lot of problems with Steven. Wednesday evening we had a full-on emotional crisis, where he went ballistic, and needed 4 nurses and me to calm and hold him down. All it needs is a wrong word in the wrong place and Steven gets hypercritical, and this is what happened. I was trying to talk a little sense to him due to his general attitude to everyone, but he wouldn't take the advice, saying that it's everyone else’s fault. Basically he has no social skills whatsoever, despite his strangely increased intelligence. He can put forward reasonable arguments on almost every subject, but does it without emotion. Strangely, he talks completely different to his girl friends, and is a really pleasant. So.............he has the body of a 26yr old, the intelligence of a grown-up, he talks almost like a 12yr old child, but seems to have the emotions and tantrums of a 6yr old, work all that out, and hopefully you'll see what we're up against. The doctors explained it very cleverly, they said, "Can you tell Steven to run now?" I of course replied "No". The doctor then said basically, that just because Steven's body is reacting very well, it doesn't mean his brain is improving at the same rate. All those nerve endings are still connecting. Steven cannot discriminate between emotions, this is why he's fine with his girlfriends but not with us or anyone else. Steven is pushing the boundaries of control as would any child. If you tell a child not to touch a hot object, chances are the child will touch it. This is the way the child learns. Steven has got to learn the same way. He will make mistakes, and eventually hopefully learn from them. When I saw Steven’s doctor, I was in a real state myself because of my lack of experience and understanding as to what’s happening to Steven. I stayed with her for one hour, which was a non-scheduled meeting, so I must have upset her schedule that morning. Later that day Steven was angry that I had spoken to his doctor. It’s difficult to explain, but we all cry most days, sometimes with happiness that Steven has done something different whatever it is, other times we cry through frustration and anger at what we’ve been put through. After my conversation with the doctor, she must have formulated a plan of some sort, because on Friday afternoon, Steven came out of physio’ carrying the doctor’s report which we’ve seen many times. It seems he was given this report so that he could realise why we’re so careful and protective of him. Steven was so upset, because for the first time, he’d seen evidence of what an awful state he was in. The report is far too complicated for my limited Spanish, and I can’t trust the Google translator with such a large document. I just hand it in to Solicitor etc. For the first time even we were surprised at the report’s contents. Steven died once at the scene of the accident, he died 3 times in the ambulance from Torrevieja to Benidorm, and he died again once more at Benidorm. We were never told this, or we were in too much of a state to understand the enormity of it all. Further to that, we have learned of extra injuries. On top of what we knew, he also suffered a broken jaw, fractured left elbow, collapsed stomach, and most of his back and shoulder muscles on the left side were dislocated. His jaw and elbow are like his ribs, they can’t be put right by dressings etc, they have to get better themselves. This all helps us all to understand what’s happening to Steven. The broken neck, the broken jaw, and the moved muscles all explain his difficulty in moving his neck, and why it’s difficult for him to speak. He is trying so hard to get better, but his brain and body are against him. I think it’s going to take a lot of physio’ to get him back together. Ref’ the broken neck, the break was one of the outer bones, away from the spinal cord which was broken, but that’s where muscles are attached, no wonder he has problems. He is getting limited movement in his left foot, but if he curls his toes under his foot, it becomes painful. Most of his pain now comes from his hip. But I’m sure the more exercise he does, the quicker these pains will go.
Best regards, Terry

23rd May 2011

A busy week for all of us. Monday Pauline and I returned to Torrevieja in the hope of sorting out Steven’s pension after being passed from office to office for several weeks. The lady at the Social Security office was very helpful. Apparently because Steven is in hospital receiving a bed and food he’s not entitled to a pension. As soon as he is discharged from hospital he will be assessed as to his capabilities, and any entitlement to a pension will start then. This all makes sense, but it would have been much better if one of the previous 7 people had told us that, to save us all the form filling, telephone calls, and travel involved. When this was done Pauline and I took a well earned break in Benidorm, half board in a hotel, our first break for over 6 months. A good holiday, not that playing bingo did us any favours with other people on our table winning, and us going home with empty pockets. No cleaning, no cooking, no washing up for 3 days, wonderful. We returned to learn that Steven had had an operation on Tuesday to remove his feeding tube. We have been waiting for this for several weeks, this will make Steven feel better, not having an usused plastic tube hanging from his stomach. The operation wasn’t a problem, but Steven said that the anaesthetic drip in his arm was painful. Thursday evening, by prior arrangement I collected Andy from Alzira. Andy is walking from Rome to Ronda to raise funds and awareness of disadvantaged children in Andalucia. He visited Steven, before going to our rented house for a meal. We returned for time with Steven. It’s the likes of Steven which is the focus of his charity, and Andy was pleased to see the recovery in Steven. It was during this conversation that Steven described how he really felt. He said that he knows he’s getting better, and he knows that his intelligence and memory seem to be okay, but he feels that his body doesn’t belong to him. A very strange thing to say, but makes sense, if his brain has been re-booted. He has to mentally tell every part of his body what to do, learning everything all over again as would a child. Andy left Friday morning to continue his walk south. Friday morning Pauline and I were summoned to the hospital during Steven’s physio’ session, to be shown how Steven was to use a walking frame. Similar to a zimmer frame, but smaller. First I had to learn how to put on a support “boot” to Steven’s left foot, with a complicated arrangement of Velcro straps. Then Steven proceeded to walk the length of the waiting room and back, about 50yds, it was good to see this. Steven has been practicing in the physio’, and was now being allowed to walk with us. That evening we took the frame to Steven’s room in order that he could walk whenever he wanted, which he did several times over the weekend. He walked around the hospital floor, a total of about 100yds each time. He takes his time, it makes his muscles ache, but he’s determined to do this. He continues to dress, undress, and wash himself, and when his feeding tube “hole” has healed, he’ll be taught to shower himself. However although his body appears to be healing well, we’re having concerns about his head. There’s no doubt he has retained or even bettered his intelligence, but he still seems to have the mentality of a child. He seems to treat us, his carers, as children, none of us can do anything correct. What is done for him one way one day, sometimes has to be done a different way another day. He’s very abrupt to the point of rudeness when he talks to anyone, including us. If he doesn’t get his own way, or sees us apparently objecting to what he says, even just by a simple facial expression, he gets upset, and sometimes angry. Saturday morning was typical of this, when Steven was very abrupt answering Pauline’s questions about toilet, clothes, and food. All this started because earlier I had put his socks on wrong, even though I hadn’t finished doing so. We were told a long time ago, that when things happen like this, we have a choice, do what he wants, or ignore him. We feel it’s best to ignore him when he’s in such moods. Steven was even told by a nurse that he seemed angry when he spoke, and asked us if that was true, we told him it was. Steven has every right in the world to feel angry at what’s happened to him, but we cannot allow ourselves to also become ill with worry. By Sunday evening Steven’s attitude had changed for the better, and we enjoyed an evening watching a dvd and eating left over Easter eggs.
Best regards
Terry

14th May 2011

An interesting week or so. We don’t know what’s happening with the doctors in physio’, but there seems to be little in the way of encouragement for Steven. He was actually told that he had learning difficulties and couldn’t speak Spanish. This was determined by him being unable to do simple arithmetic, and some obscure spelling tests. But Steven didn’t finish his schooling for a variety of reasons, but has had plenty of learning in the school of life. In any case he hasn’t come here to gain a degree, not increase his education, he’s simply here to work hard at getting better. This he’s doing with the help of doctors and physio, but sometimes their methods are bizarre. A simple “well done” would work wonders. On Thursday 12th May, whilst waiting for Steven to come out of physio, the doors opened and I saw Steven slowly walking with a walking frame, otherwise unaided, to cheers from the waiting carers who also saw him. Steven hasn’t complained of any of his old pains for several days, only the pain of exercise which he’s used to and doesn’t mind at all. It’s wonderful to hear him say that his left foot is itching, surely a sign of returning feeling. His movement between bed and chair is getting easier, sometimes with very little supporting help. His walk is still a shuffling motion, but he is gaining more confidence in his abilities. He can wash his own hands and face, he can shave, and he can partially dress and undress himself. He can bend his left knee to his chest with only a little discomfort to his hips. He hasn’t been taught to wash and shave, it’s through his own determination and our encouragement. We are refusing to use the feeding tube in his stomach, due to that fact that he’s had 6 recent infections, and we have asked for it’s removal. Apparently it’s protocol to have the feeding tube there, in case he chokes or develops lung problems, but at no time has a doctor ever used a stethoscope to listen to his chest to see how he is. And, he is still being fed fish which has choke inducing bones!! We wish that these doctors would sometimes think out the box occasionally and give us some credit or even trust to use common sense. He now takes his medicine with thick water, no problems. We still continue to feed him with fresh food provided by his Mum, rather than the constant supply of fish at the hospital. Pauline and I are returning home next week due to problems with the Social Security office, and have decided to have a 2 day break in Benidorm, our first break in 6 months. We return on Thursday to accommodate friend Andy who is walking from Rome to Ronda to raise awareness of disadvantaged Andalucian children. (www.romaronda.info).
Best regards Terry