22nd July 2011

Hiya, the insurance doctor came to see Steven again as she does on regular monthly visits. All she seems to be interested in is reducing any payout of monies from the taxi insurance company. She doesn’t want to learn the truth of Steven’s injuries. Yes he’s getting better, but she doesn’t take into account the pain, the psychological trauma, the inconvenience to him and us, his embarrassment, his and our workload. Nothing!!! She says Steven can walk, but she doesn’t say he can walk only with assistance, either personal or mechanical. She says Steven can talk, but she doesn’t say that it’s with difficulty due to jaw damage. She seems not to care about Steven’s difficulty in grasping social and emotional issues. She doesn’t care about the awful scar on his left leg. She doesn’t seem to care that Steven has difficulty controlling his hands, sometimes he appears clumsy. She doesn’t realise that he gets nervous very easily, and visibly shakes when in public situations. She doesn’t want to know about the fact that Steven has difficulty regulating his own body temperature. Has she forgotten that Steven suffered horrendous brain damage and he has had to be almost re-born. Steven has had to re-learn everything. She has no feeling whatsoever for Steven’s feelings. There seems to be no thought for Steven’s long term future, whether it’s extra pain, extra health problems, or whether he’ll need help at home as time goes on. Steven will probably need a lot of money for his future, there is no guarantee that he will be able to work or obtain a pension in this current crisis. There seems to be no thought to our feelings, our work, our expenses. We are so angry that this situation has been forced on us. We suspect that Steven will only be given a certain amount of money, but believe me, whatever he receives, it will not be enough, and the more angry we get, the more money we want for him, especially when we seem to have no sympathy towards his situation. We are constantly contacting our solicitor to give him our feelings, we are Steven’s representatives and we have to take care of him and will push for what we believe he’s entitled to.
This is getting better, another good week for Steven. The physio’ staff now have the confidence to allow Steven to walk more and more on his own. Always under supervision but with no personal or mechanical aids, except for the vital ankle and foot supports. These are proving to be a boon, giving Steven more and more confidence himself as if he needed more. Steven now only uses the wheelchair for long outdoor excursions, otherwise it’s just the walking frame. His speech is occasionally a little slurred due to his difficulty in opening his mouth properly when talking. When yawning he opens his mouth wide, but when talking it’s different. Steven still tends to have social issues, in that he has little concept of time, or has the attitude “what’s the rush”, when we are waiting for him to do something or go somewhere. He doesn’t take any sort of criticism easily, so we have to be careful of what we say. He has a small appetite for hospital food and won’t eat extra food which could be provided by us, but when out for the weekend he eats well. Otherwise everything is coming along slowly but surely. We had another weekend at home. No problems with the journey. We had meals out with friends, and he saw his own friends. Returning to the hospital Sunday, we went to Benidorm where we met up with Paul. Also there by pure chance was our good friend, and as she says “our substitute daughter”, was Jane Heneghan with husband Paddy. Jane has been a loyal supporter of Steven in many ways, even though she hasn’t seen him for over 10yrs. A lovely reunion. After a drink or two, Paul took Steven back to the rented house and the hospital, whilst Pauline and I had a few days on our own back at home. Hardly a rest though, many jobs have piled up in our absence, but a rest it was. On Tuesday 19th we received the news by ‘phone from Paul, that Steven’s doctors are delighted with his progress and are considering allowing him home permanently, and to go to a local hospital as an out-patient. This is excellent news. Although these weekends at home are most welcome, and important to bring normality back into all our lives, they do make life complicated. For just over 7months we have lived between our rented house and the hospital room, taking it in turns to care for Steven. Whilst doing this we have to constantly plan ahead in all manner of things. Often things are in the wrong place when needed such as ‘phone chargers, clothes, cosmetics, documents, medicines etc. We never know when the mobile ‘phone will need charging, and we never know when someone is going to contact us regarding some aspect of our lives. If clothes get dirty, we need a spare set in both places. If we get a headache we need the paracetamol. Now that we’re coming home regularly, we now have a third place to consider. It certainly makes life interesting!!
Best regards Terry