Sunday 3 July 2011

3rd July 2011

Not sure these weekends out are good for Steven. During the week he's been down and depressed, not helped by being told that he may have done too much the previous weekend. Too much walking, too much time in the pool, too many people, wrong foods. We can understand the hospital being careful, but people are different, and they all act and react differently to all kinds of stresses. Steven wants to work, he's determined, he wants to get better, and we're not going to jeopardise that in any way. We are the ones constantly supervising Steven, we are the ones who should be spoken to, and we've told the doctors this. We do what the doctors say and just bend the rules a little. As an example if the doctors say walk 50metres, Steven will walk 70. Steven has to get out there to meet people, to give him hope that he will be able to join them equally one day. We can't just wrap him in bubblewrap. There are people in the hospital who, due to Steven's improvements, are now much worse than him, a few are overweight, many cannot do what Steven can now do, surely the protocols cannot be the same for everyone. For the first time Steven showed his anger and/or frustration to his doctor and she was surprised. Whether this will enable her to change his routine we'll soon find out. This weekend Steven was given permission to leave the hospital for the weekend. We stayed in our rented house within sight of the hospital, due to it being Paul's birthday and if we went home we wouldn't be able to celebrate it with him. Friday evening we stayed at the house with a takeaway Chinese, and Steven using his laptop for the first time. Saturday morning he had a quiet day with no routine, and just gentle exercise. Saturday afternoon we went to Javea to meet up with Paul at chiringito, and drank mojitos watching the sea, although Steven had to make do with a coke. From there we went to the Arenal area of Javea for a bar meal in a popular area, followed by a drink in another bar where thre was an excellent singer Adam King. This Adam has also been involved in an accident where he broke his back, but he is now fine, and he did offer encouragement to Steven. It was here that Steven became depressed again. It must be hard for him to be like this, so close to being better. He just wants it to end, he's fed up and he's had enough, and he wants it all to end. He sees all these young people having fun and he can't even walk properly let alone join in. He feels that people are watching him trying to see what's the matter with him and may be picking up the wrong signals, them not realising what he's gone through. I mean, he can't walk around with a sign saying "I died 5 times" can he? It was a very tearful and emotional moment. But we've run out of words. What can we say that hasn't been said before. He knows he's getting better. He knows he has the support of all you people and us. Do the words become meaningless, only time will tell.
Best regards Terry

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